MasterRoland

possibly moving

2005-10-31T11:43:00.000-08:00

I might be relocating this blog somewhere that I won't get "ads" as comments, shame on you blogspot, who knows, I ahven't be very active recently on this site anyway, more later.

to settle the argument.

2005-09-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend, Andrea, is hot and I love her.

Mike

random stuff

2005-09-26T16:08:00.000-07:00

I can’t imagine any music more inappropriate to play in a men’s locker room than “Groovin’: slow jams and disco hits of the 70’s and 80’s”. When Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it on” starts playing as a large hairy man (i.e. me) undresses next to you, you can’t help but have an urge immediately leave the building.

This weekend I saw Uncle Phil of “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” fame perform as Othello in said play. Me dost think that only in the fair city of Los Angeles can you be witnessed to such an event.

More Pictures

2005-09-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

The Half Dome Trip

2005-09-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

A picture from an earlier trip.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I did it.
After years of talking about it, and "training" I finally achieved success. Me and seven of my friends ( a month ago, 16 were slated to go) hiked up the monstrous rock ultimately taking around 13 hours. Two went halfway, Andrea made it to the hub (before the cables which you can see on these pictures) and five of us, Brian, Jake, Mike Miller, Giuseppe, and I made it to the top. Everyone either achieved or surpassed their goals so we can hold our heads up high. The hike kicked our ass by the way, my legs are still aching but it was worth it. These pictures just don't do it justice. Below are a select few (I took about 90 that day, and the other hikers took plenty as well) pictures from the trip, Including Andrea and I in front of the cables, the five toppers who found a "clubhouse" on the top, a picture of us after coming down the rock, and a view of the hike leading up to the cables (Andrea is in the pink hat).

The cables, oh man the cables. There were a lot of debate of what they actually were leading up to the hike and hopefully these pictures do it justice, but you held onto them as you scaled the mountain where you can stop every 15-20 feet at a wooden board to catch your breath. They are in no way an actual staircase, but a mere place to pause. Most of the group agreed that the entire trip was probably the hardest physical challenge (yeah, that's right "Double Dare" you pale in comparison) we've had in our life, and we all passed out once we made it back to the room. I can't imagine another trip that could be harder (that I know of) but for now, I'm gonna take a much needed break.

half dome trip pictures

2005-09-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

Mike's Homemade Music/Movie Survey

2005-08-22T14:12:00.000-07:00

If you are bored, copy and repost your answers....

A. Name 5 movies you’ve recently watched (theatrical/rented) and would recommend and why.
The Forty Year Old Virgin (I can’t remember when I laughed so hard.)
March of the Penguins – The best part about the penguin movie is Morgan Freeman.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou – This movie just gets better every time I see it.
Nine Songs – I only recommend this movie to the artsy and the horny, but mostly to the horny.
Batman Begins – Yay! They put talent back into the series.

B. 5 Songs that are stuck in you head recently.
1. Are you a Hypnotist???? – Flaming Lips
2. In My Time of Dyin’ – Bob Dylan
3. A Winner Takes a Wand – Sufjan Stevens
4. Red Rain – The White Stripes
5. I’m Not in Love – 10cc

C. 5 Songs that make your Booty Move.
1. Kiss- Prince
2. Holy Calamity- Handsome Boy Modeling School
3. Carwreck - Funki Porchini
4. Superstitious – Stevie Wonder (I woke up to this song today)
5. Crosseyed and Painless – Talking Heads

D. What’s a good “Home Sick” movie?
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

E. The song you listen to when you are pissed.
Calm Like a Bomb – Rage Against the Machine

F. Name the movie that you are always surprised when you hear someone you know hasn’t seen it.
Rushmore

G. The Band you suggest everyone should listen to.
Wilco – buy “Yankee hotel Foxtrot” people.

H. Name 3 songs that you consider personal.
1. Radio Cures – Wilco
2. Your Redneck Past – Ben Folds Five
3. Red Rain – The White Stripes
4. Superfly- j/k
I. Name a movie and/or a band/record that’s been on your list to check out, but you’ve yet to watch/listen.
1. The Last Emperor - I’ve rented this TWICE, but still haven’t watched it.
2. Four Tet – I saw this guy for 15 seconds at Coachella and wanted to check him out, but still have yet to do it.

J. Name one or more movies that scare the shit out of you.
1. The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre scarred me as teen.

K. What movie character do people think you look like?
I’ve heard more than once that I look like Ben Affleck’s character Holden in Chasing Amy, but I think it’s just the goatee.

What movie are you proud of not seeing?
I’ve missed Godzilla, and War of the Worlds, two movies people have told me never to see.

What song did you last hear?
Shake Your Rump – Beastie Boys.

My dream last night

2005-08-09T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that I was taking over the job as assistant to “Satan” from my friend Brian. (For some background info, I used to be an intern/2nd assistant to “Satan”, a 60 year-old talent manager who specializes in Teens. Brian also worked in the office but never under that scary woman.) Anyway I remember being mad at myself for taking the job because I hated “Satan” and I didn’t really want to be in the field of talent manager. (In reality, I “interned” there simply because it was a job and it was in the industry and I was unemployed for two-3 months.) For the assistant position, I also had to be this “go-get-um” kinda guy and I knew I just wasn’t that motivated.
When Brian handed the job to me, I could tell he was disappointed in me, he was bigger than the job too, and that’s why he was leaving. The job mostly entailed following “Satan” around to freemason classes and meetings. I had to pretend to be a Freemason to get in to each class, and the security guards was always skeptical of me. I also had to lie and say I used to be a cop, which apparently is synonymous with being a Freemason. I told them I had two years of excellence on the force, and then bought a special free mason notepad, of course to take notes in class.
In the last class I noticed “Satan” was crying in class so I went up to her, she told me that she was indebted to me, and really appreciated my help. If I didn’t know before, I knew then that I was dreaming because, if you haven’t figured it out, “Satan” was a bitch in real life. If I did something wrong I was “just the intern” but if I did a good job I was the 2nd assistant.

New shoes is what you need.

2005-08-05T16:41:00.000-07:00

As I lied in bed last night, with my girlfriend brushing her teeth, the Sufjan Stevens song “Happy Birthday” came on the stereo. For those who haven’t heard it, the chorus basically goes like this “I’m happy, I’m happy, your birthday brings a pardoning.” Despite the religious overtones, the song struck me as odd, for a different reason. I do listen to the occasional “happy” song, but this is the only I can think of in my library that actually says “I’m happy”. Now I’ve talked about the general depressive nature with the majority of music before, but I always assumed I listened to happy stuff as well, considering I’m a relatively happy person.
But I just find it odd that in this day and age, “I’m happy” is a statement (not just in the grammatical sense). I remember seeing a hippy girl at a Phish show walking around with a sign saying this exact phrase and it through me like this song did last night. Last night was especially exciting considering I felt happy. I am, I’m happy. My job bores the hell out of me, but I’m happy. I’ve had a great summer, I have plans for fun things in the future, I’m proud of what I’m writing (even though it’s a little at a time), and I get to spend my time with a wonderful woman.
I can tell you exactly when I realized I was happy. I was at the David Byrne concert, talking about my recent feature idea when I realized I couldn’t write it (at the moment) simply because I wasn’t in the mood to write a sad tale. My girl agreed and kissed me on the cheek, and it dawned on me. I was happy. Before I was carrying around this lingering resentment, but there was just no reason to anymore. Sure it still comes back, and I don’t know when it will be gone for good, but it’s not bringing me down anymore.
What can I say, I’m happy.

2005-08-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

My Hero Shot

I feel it draining at this very moment.

2005-08-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

I’m convinced my job sucks the creativity, or in other words, my life energy. Every “idea” I have is had outside this office, yet I spend the most time here. I forget to do things I already planned on doing, it’s frustrating. Every good idea for a “blog” is thought of outside this office, the ones I think of in the office are the crappy ones. It’s really grating my nerves and I’m worried I’m going to be permanently injured. Does anybody else have this problem?

The wacky internet

2005-08-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

In my lag time at work, I've taken to looking for friends and family on Google, and I've actually found a couple friends who I've lost contact, or at least some evidence that they are still alive. My bud, Drew used to be a rhythm guitarist in an acoustic jazz trio in New Hampshire but the have a new guitarist as of feburary, so who knows what's going on now.

And here is my newest find; My bud Justin, who is the worst at doing stuff like returning phone calls and going to college actually had an exhibit of his art at a gallery at a college in Md. So this makes good news on two fronts, A. he had an exhibit, and there is stuff I haven't seen, so he's working and B. He's in college.
Justin has been in at least 6 colleges that I know of, the first being at University of Marlyand, where I met him. Now I haven't talked to him since christmas, so hopefully he's still in this college and douing well. Let's hope. I'd call him to see if that's correct but he won't answer or return calls. We're not fighting or anything, that's just his way. Must be the "artist" in him.

http://www.gilman.edu/the_arts/Clock_Gallery/Justin_Knodell/content.htm

Mike

Gimme Gimme Gimme red tape.

2005-07-29T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today I had to swim through the sea of health insurance, because I was stuck in the seaweed of bureaucracy.

That’s not a clunky sentence at all.

So I had a small problem this morning with my health Insurance and I had to wage war on my patience to clear up the issue. We’ve all done it before, call one person, and they say call someone else and you call that person and they send you to someone else who puts you on hold for 20 minutes, blah, blah blah. Well I hate it, and I had to deal with this problem before, and it took several days of calls, yelling, and hold music. So I prepared myself today, and created a list of things I expected to go through, and tallied each time I had to do it. Of course now that I was trying to make a point, the red tape was rather painless, everyone was helpful (but I try to be very nice to customer service people, because I know it ain’t their fault) and the red tape was minimal. Maybe it’s because I knew the problem, maybe I was just lucky this time. But the list is still pretty interesting, for an easy fix, here it is. Now I’m not 100% sure it’s all cleared up, so I’ll add stuff if I have to do more.

# of Phone Calls made
5
# of automated menus
3
# of times I was put on hold
5
# of misdirected phone calls
1

Next time you gotta do something similar, keep a tally and share it with us.

Everyone loves a good mix. DO THE ROBOT!

2005-07-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

It’s finally done. As some of you know, I’ve reworked a couple past mixes utilizing the new technology I have at my fingertips, editing together the songs, etc. Well, last christmas’ “Metal04” did not hold up to time in my opinion. I’ve come to the conclusion that when I decided to make a CD compilation of various electronic music, I didn’t listen to enough of it to give a good mix. So, as I was introduced to more (Thank you, Diana and Lisa) and finding some CD’s I literally forgot I had (i.e. Funki Porchini) I decided to update the flawed mix. So below are the song listings of both CD’s. I’ve moved around some songs, kept bands but changed songs, deleted songs entirely and edited them together so the CD now comes as one long track. It’s also shorter; I’ve found that shorter mixes are actually better in certain cases, and I’m positive the new mix will stand up to repeated listens.
A lot of times I changed/tossed some songs simply because I was tired of them. “Such Great Heights” was a certainly a fun song and everyone liked it once, but I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of it. Since I’m not giving this mix to the parents I was able to put on NIN’s “Closer” which , in my opinion, is a work of electronic genius as well as a damn fun song. The new one has a section which I called the “blob” It starts with “Blasphemous Rumors” and ends with “This place is a prison”. I also have two songs I directly put together, now they aren’t “original” but “Fitter/Happier Nights” is a mash-up of sorts and the last track is lots of snippets from all the tunes, filtered and put on top of each other by me, for some closure.
So if any of you out there are interested in the CD, drop me a line. Otherwise I’ll just force it upon selected friends and loved ones. :O)

Metal04

1. Such Great Heights – Postal Service
2. Requiem (blip) –Clint Mansell
3. Misinformed – Soul Coughing
4. Bolem II – Mr. Bungle
5. Man Research (clapper) - Gorillaz
6. Kid A - Radiohead
7. Get Real Paid – Beck
8. Yoshimi part 2 – Flaming Lips
9. Ringfinger – NIN
10. Requiem 2 – Clint Mansell
11. Dot/Eyes – Tortoise
12. Blasphemous Rumors – Depeche mode
13. Fitter/ Happier – Radiohead
14. Blasphemous (reprise) – Depeche Mode
15. The Gloaming – Radiohead
16. Requiem 2 – Clint Mansell
17. This Place is a Prison – Postal Service
18. Ashes (orhestra hit) –Wilco
19. Alleged – Beta Band
20. Are You a Hypnotist – Flaming Lips
21. Undo - Bjork
22 -28ish - noises that don’t overlap

Metal05
1. 15th – Fischerspooner
2. Requiem (blip) –Clint Mansell
3. Blame – Soul Coughing
4. Man research (clapper) – Gorillaz
5. Kid A – Radiohead
6. Carwreck – Funki Porchini
7. The Tunnel – Red Snapper
8. Get Real Paid – Beck
9. Yoshimi Part 2 – Flaming Lips
10. Strangers – Portishead
11. Requiem 2 – Clint Mansell
12. Blasphemous Rumors – Depeche mode
13. Fitter/Happier Nights – Michael Kagey
14. Blasphemous (reprise) – Depeche Mode
15. Time Code – Bright Eyes
16. This Place is a Prison – Postal Service
17. Requiem 2 (a piece) – Clint Mansell
18. Closer – NIN
19. Title Track (siket disc) – Phish
20. Film – Aphex Twin
21. Undo – Bjork
22. Metal05 (reprise) Arranged by Me!

Explaining a Joke Makes it Funny.

2005-07-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

Here is a thought I had while I sat in traffic.

In Big Lebowski, The dude sees George Bush Sr. Talk about the skirmish in Iraq on TV in the first scene. In that blurb ole' Georgie says "This aggression will not stand," in response to Saddam's attacks on Kuwait. Later on in the movie, The dude, uses this phrase inappropriately at as a declaration of peace (with Walter I think) but he adds the dude's style by saying "This aggression will not stand, man." So this becomes a big cult success and a fan company of sorts (www.lebowskifest.com) distributes bumper stickers of various movie quotes including the above "dude" quote. I bought this bumper sticker along with another "In the parlance of our times..." Now if you put these stickers in order "In the parlance of our times..." "This aggression will not stand, man" fellow drivers read this and think it's a declaration of peace against our involvement in the present Iraq "occupation" (especially those who do not know the movie). During election time, I used to get heckled every once in awhile, and once was called a dirty hippy because of these stickers. Of course, the irony is that those Dubya lovers were yelling at me for having a George Sr. Quote on my car. Weird, huh.

People in Charge are stupid.

2005-07-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so there is this "controversy" out because a video game called Grand Theft auto: San Andreas has a simulated sex scene it, not all the conservatives are having a field day. This is stupid, and let me tell you why.
A. The sex scene is not actually in the game, but some "patch" that you have to download off the internet. So technically it's not in the game but some hacker found it/created it. So the game creators are not at fault.
B. The game itself is extremely violent. You can dress up like a clown, find a chainsaw and cut random people in half, and stab there lifeless bloody corpse on the ground. Why would you choose to whine to all the media conglomerates about a sex scene that only a handful of dorks knew. I mean they stopped selling the damn game in stores because of this.
C. Well actually that's pretty much it, I'm just bored at work so I decided to vent.

Wedding Crashes the Island

2005-07-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

I was going to write a long review of both movies I saw this weekend but you know what, in the nature of "Less is more" I'll write it like that.

Wedding Crashers
Funny, raunchy, but it has third act problems, but unless you are a snob, it won't bother you.

The Island
It's a piece of crap wrapped up in a flashy loud bow. I started noticing very obvious pot holes in the first ten minutes and they continue throughout the movie ad nauseum. The action scenes often confuse and bore you to death, they hide the fact that they don't make sense with camera whips, and well, it just sucks, don't go see it.

Beck, a tiny funky white boy.

2005-07-25T13:40:00.000-07:00

Beck

On Thursday Night, I did a weird thing and went to a concert by my lonesome. In talking to friends afterwards, apparently I’m the only one to do this, or even think to do this. Well it has it’s advantages and disadvantages. Advantage one, I bought tickets the day of and got second row tickets. Actually I’ve been saying that to simplify things, it was really 4 or 5 rows back, but the view did not change. It was still like Beck was playing in my living room. Disadvantage: you get bored while waiting for the acts to begin. I resorted to text messaging, something I have many reservations about, but I only text my girl.
As for the concert, it kicked ass. This was the first time I saw Beck play (the reason why I did this last minute thing) and I had a great time. Beck is a tiny, tiny man. I know 12 year old girls who are bigger than him. He put on a great show, full of energy and fun. Even the opening band, the Decemberists, was a good time. Beck played a nice mix of tunes from throughout his career, which is essential for bands with several albums under there belt. No one wants to go see a guy play the entire new album, and not hear the favorites of Yester-year. The new ones he did played were great in concert, more fun the album, I would like to say, and because you can see the energy and fun they put into the tunes. Seeing one of the tracks hidden at the end of the album (Rental Car) in concert made me like it now. He also played a few tunes to excite the fans, a b-side called “clap hands” was great, and he whipped out the song from eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (which is a great tune).
He also took some time to play some of the sad tunes from "sea change" while the band took a break (they sat down on a dinner table on stage and pretended to have dinner. I’m going to take this point and give an open letter to the couple in front of me. Guys, a song where the chorus says “Baby it’s a loss, baby it’s a lost cause, I’m tired of fighting, fighting for a lost cause” is not the song to make-out too. You looked stupid, and made everyone around you very uncomfortable. I’m even in love and rolled my eyes at your public display of moronic affection. Anyway, the bottom line was I’m very glad I decided to drive several hours to Orange County to see Beck. It was worth it. Now I just wished I could have seen his last tour where The Flaming Lips opened for him and was his back up band. Oh well, I wasn’t into the lips back then, so I didn’t try to see him, oh yeah, and I was flat broke.
I’ll end on this note to Beck:
“Beck, you don’t have to play “Loser” anymore, we don’t expect you too. You mentioned at the concert that you want to stop playing “Debra”, we like that song, it’s funny, just arrange it differently if you want a change of pace. Oh, and tour with the lips again, please.”

Coming soon: my reviews of Wedding Crashers, and The Island.

Kick Ass NEWS!

2005-07-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

So today on a whim, I decided to buy tickets for Beck's show tonight at the Orange county fair, and low & behold, I get SECOND ROW TICKETS! this has happened to me once before a years ago with a medeski martin and wood concert. I'm psyched. WOOOOO!

a reminder to myself

2005-07-20T18:35:00.000-07:00

This is a reminder to never surf craiglist's "rant & rave" section ever again. It depresses me everytime I read those sad and lonely peoples rantings .Every single time I read it, I lose a lil' bit more respect for humanity.

bad ass tattoos

2005-07-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

I swear not all of my humourous observations will be from the men's locker room, but for now....

So I saw this guy changing next to me yesturday, and normally I avoid looking at other changing men in the locker room, but this guy had a couple cool tattoos (I'm thinking about getting one) like a gargoyle, a radiohead amnesiac tattoo on his foot, and a couple other bad ass ones, but when he drops his pants, he's got boxers with lil' piggy heads on them. No matter how hard you are, you can sport cartoon underwear.

A weekend of stuff.

2005-07-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Two reviews

Sufjan Stevens

Now if you haven’t heard of this indie-folk wonder boy - well, it’s understandable. He’s not the big yet, and some would say that makes him extra cool but that’s up to you to decide. I have three of his albums (out of four I think) including his new one “Illinois”. It’s a part of an uber-concept which involves making an album for each state of the union – He’s got 2 down. Well I have a Pet Peeve about live shows so close to the release of an album, because even an obsessed music fan like me can’t get acquainted with an album so quickly to enjoy a concert the week later. (I hate it even more when a band tours before the album coming out – but that’s a different blog). So I take my girlfriend to Sufjan’s (pronounced Soo-Fee-an) show at the El Rey last weekend, for a night of wacky indie folk and the night started on a decent note.
The first opening band was slightly weird and fun (the way I like opening bands) so it showed promise. I also like to look at the crowd around me and I quickly discovered how similar everyone in the room was. For lack of a better term, it was a room full of hipsters and I was one of them. All men had dorky glasses, faded jeans and chucks, while some had amusing cynical jokes written across there chest, because that’s what’s cool, man. Realizing you are part of a crowd is both comforting and oddly humbling.
Then the next band came out which was comprised of a woman on a ukulele and a woman on a xylophone singing slow gospel tunes. Yes, you are thinking right at the moment – it was horribly boring. This put a drain on my date and I like you wouldn’t believe since the El Rey is primarily standing room only. Nothing makes you think more about how tired and hot you are than a fucking boring opening act. I’m a fan of small pretty songs, but these were like 5 minutes a piece and slow, slow, slow. These chicks either needed to cut down there song list or cut the length of their tunes in half (at least).
So we find a better spot, (to sit! YAY!) and wait for our oddly named main attraction. He came on with several of his friends (including the gospel chicks) with sheet music in front to play several complex tunes about a state I’ve never been too. Now I like the album - it’s long, but both beautiful strange, and unique, which is right up my alley. I could’ve not been more bored at this concert. Every song was from the new album, playing mostly the slow pretty tunes, which pumps the audience right up. I kinda knew the songs, but a line here, a melody there etc. and I just got more and more frustrated that I wasn’t enjoying myself at a concert that I should. Thank god I found a place to sit otherwise I would be in pain as well as bored. At least I could enjoy my date snuggle up next to me and catch some shut eye on my shoulder. Well, we left. It was 11:30 and it felt like Soofy hadn’t even really began so we met up with some friends at a bar. In summation, I highly suggest the CD’s but avoid him in concert. I’ve seen quiet concerts before and loved them, but this one – just sucked.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Now I’m not a huge fan of the original, so if you are, you might find more faults in this remake, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. Every one of my friends were worried Johnny Depp is going to suck, and I think just the opposite. Yes, He’s not the Gene Wilder’s “Willy” and we all love him, but I’m sure there is room in that big heart of yours to like Johnny’s “Willy” too. Um, that sexual pun was unintentional, but of course, I didn’t delete it. My only gripe about the movie is a general gripe about movies in general that use a lot of CGI –which is it just simply does not look real. My mind doesn’t think “wow, look at Violet blow up like a blueberry. How did they do that?” no I think, “Huh, they decided to CGI that didn’t they, oh, I guess that’s neat.” See the movie though, I truly had a good time with it, and that’s a great review by an adult for a children’s flick.

Friggin' Hardboiled

2005-07-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from a conversation I had today with a newly engaged to be married coworker.

Mike: (in references to IHOP’s new funnel cake) I can’t imagine eating funnel cake for breakfast to be very healthy.
Chris: I had a friggin’ hardboiled egg for breakfast today.
Mike: Are you on a diet?
Chris: I guess, by association.
Mike: By association.
Chris: Yeah, she makes food for me, and it happens to always be healthy. I haven’t eaten French fries for months.

This is coming from a man who religiously went to “Taco Tuesday” at Del Taco. Apparently married life (almost) is doing him well.

weird vanity

2005-07-11T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have a new idea for this “blog”. I think I might randomly post amusing observations I notice in my everyday life, like a journal of stupid and weird things I see people doing etc.

My first two examples just happen to be both random things I saw at the mens locker room at the Gym I go to. Disregard the correlation.

Yesterday I saw a man blow dry his chest hair even though he had next to none. He then proceeded to blow dry his goatee. As a man who has had a goatee for several years (and chest hair), I have never once done this, or even felt that I needed to.

Last week I saw a grown man stand in front of a mirror naked (if that’s not enough in a public locker room filled with men) and lather the majority of his body with lotion, occasionally slapping his own ass (loudly).

Rugrats and I

2005-07-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday a coworker brought his 1.5 year old daughter in to work and I quickly learned that I have no clue how to act around a toddler. My first thought was “What music would a baby want to listen to?” So I turned off Soul Coughing and put on some Beatles (makes sense right?) for my young visitor. I later discussed it with Andrea and she agreed; babies are born to like the Beatles. But after that, I don’t know what to say, how to act, what words to use, what not to use. The cliché is of course is for some person to bend down, get in their face and make cute nonsense noises, and well, I didn’t do that. I got to admit, that kid was damn cute. Little Emerson is Korean and before you say anything Becky, I know you think little Asian kids are damn cute and have plans to go Chinatown and steal one. When I left Emerson had found the graham crackers she wasn’t supposed to eat yet and picked up the phone to hold it to her ear at Jay’s desk so, so, well, it was so damn cute, I can’t even begin to explain. It’s not even my kid and I wanted to take a picture.
This is the second time I came in contact with a young one this week, I got a call out of the blue from my crazy uncle Ben who is going to be in LA area sometime soon, and we were making plans when he had to put me on hold and scream “Jacob, Stop playing in the toilet!” The things you never thought you would have to say, huh. The other uglier side of breeding.
My sister is trying to procreate at the moment, which means I’m soon to be an uncle (no date or anything, just soon). Naturally I will see this twinkle in her eye as I am going to be the uncle and it’s my job to teach it dirty words, help it get in trouble, and then take the blame when it happens. Of course, I’m going to have to learn how to communicate with a human larva before it becomes my surrogate younger sibling. Here is a sample of a future conversation:
ME: “Say it, say it, lil’buddy”
IT: “I Love Poop!”
ME: “Great, now go tell your mother.”
This of course means I have to go to the other side of the country to mold this impressionable mind, but it’ll be worth it, so I can torture my sister with fun tricks with “it” like she tortured me as a kid. I’ll never forgive her when we played “school” and the Cabbage Patch Dolls got better grades than I did. BUT IT CAN’T THINK TRISHA, IT DOESN’T HAVE A BRAIN, AND IT SMELLS FUNNY!”

Sorry you had to witness that.
Who knows, by the time I can truly fuck with its head, I might have a lil’ one of my own, I’m not in a hurry, but you never know.

Hiatus Life Lessons

2005-06-29T15:53:00.000-07:00

I’m back from hiatus. A lot happened, but at the same time, everything kinda stayed the same. So instead of having several long winded posts about the various things that happen in the world o’ Mike, I’ll sum most of it up in a list of stuff I have learned on my vacation.

1. A long hike doesn’t necessarily make it a good hike.

2. There is no way to do an amazing view from a mountain justice on film (or digital camera). It’s simply awe inspiring and worth every bead of sweat it took to get there.

3. Clutter in a small room is bad, and it’s surprisingly refreshing to have matching furniture.

4. Even after seeing them three times in the same tour, Wilco still rocked the house.

5. Rehab has done Jeff Tweedy well.

6. TV stars still put on sweat shirts and go see concerts even though they are famous, “Jason Bateman, did you get as much a kick out of Jeff dancing with his kids as I did?”

7. Family Guy is still damn funny.

8. We people in LA are spoiled with good sound systems in our movie theaters.

9. I need to give “The Arcade Fire” another shot, they were great live.

10. There is nothing more beautiful than the smile of a significant other (namely my significant other)

11. 9 days is too long to be away from said girl.

12. David Byrne still rocks the house.

13. Having an understanding and laid back roommate = priceless.

14. Tom Cruise is full of shit.

15. It’s tough to take care of an aging cat.

16. Confronting your mother about her questionable name for her cat that she just won’t stop saying even though it’s a popular euphemism for female genitalia, is absolutely hilarious.

17. Wannabe pregnant women can’t do a lot of things, like drink, getting in a hot tub, etc. (my sister is trying to procreate)

18. Watching an aging man sing a Jay-Z tune with a sting quintet, a marching band, a full band and a pile of mostly naked gyrating pom-pom girls and boys is as entertaining as it sounds.

19. Nothing tastes better then a char grilled med. rare steak that you hold over an open fire, especially if you pick it up and eat it animal style.

20. Bears are scared of you, but deer will check you out from a far, and even follow you.

21. The New White Stripes Album is their best yet, it may even be considered a classic, only time will tell. My favorite song – Red Rain.

22. Coyote’s eyes glow when you shine a flashlight on them.

23. Walking on a fallen tree over a raging river less than a mile away from a waterfall is nerve-racking but gratifying experience.

If I think of more life lessons I’ll post them later.

2005-05-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day before my hiatus, so expect a long “break” for this site, I assure you readers - all um, 3 of you - I will be back. I will be back with stories from Yosemite, perhaps skydiving, and who knows what else will happen in the next five weeks. I’m sure you guys will feel a nasty hole in your daily work schedule (about the ten seconds it takes you to check the site to find I haven’t written) but I know you’ll be okay. Till then,

Just Wave Your Hands From Side to Side! Word!

2005-05-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

It’s official; I’m now a post modern musician. I successfully finished my first “mash-up” on my powerbook on Monday. Now a mash-up is “mashing” two songs together, coupling a vocal track from one song and a instrumental track from another, or at least a drum loop. I didn’t think it was considered much of an “artform” but I did see a guy perform a set of them at Coachella. Anyways, I put a Billy Martin break beat underneath Radiohead’s “Fitter/Happier” with a lil’ bass sample from a tune my friends and I did in college. So after finishing this, I have this to ask you, my loyal reader. What should be my DJ name?

Just Wave Your Hands from Side to Side! Word!

2005-05-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on Coachella

2005-05-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

As I stood in a crowd of tens of thousands of people watching Trent Reznor play one of his big hits, “Hurt”, I was struck by the obvious. The entire crowd sang along “I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real.” This song has become apart of the collective subconscious of our generation (judging by the faces at Coachella I estimated 23-26 as the average age). Johnny Cash, a past generation’s moody icon covered the song before he died, the live version from Woodstock was a staple on MTV (back when they had videos) - basically it’s big.
I also remember standing next to my friend Brian at Weezer’s set, then looking over to him and saying “This is the moody band stage.” Every band playing on that stage was lovelorn, or sad, or mad at the world etc. And it was the main stage - the largest. Here’s an incomplete list:
Weezer, Wilco, Coldplay, NIN, Keane, Snow Patrol, Bauhaus, and New Order.

All of them are known for their melancholy lyrics, granted some are under poppy hooks that you can’t help but sing along with, but they are still about lost love and pain.
Now I know this isn’t anything new. Our generation has been labeled for its depressing bands for over ten years now (since the beginning of grunge) but it made sense to me in high school. Now that I’m 26 and relatively happy, it strikes me as odd. I’ve had my share of heartbreak, as everyone reading this knows, but I still consider myself a happy person. When I listen to NIN now it brings up some old issues, but in a nostalgic positive way, it’s not like I’m pissed anymore that Brooke in high school didn’t want to date me but all of my friends (that whore). I think I’m a happier man because I expressed some of those sad thoughts through listening and enjoying bands like Elliot smith. I get it out, I realize that I’m not the only one dealing with pain, hell people have 300 times more than I.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this; it was just something that struck me, out in the hot sun, that this sea of people my age all share this common bond of underlying hate and sadness. We don’t join together to celebrate the good times, but to celebrate the pain we all feel and hear in the music we all love so much. We love it enough to travel out to the desert and spend oodles of money for cheap food, crappy beer, loud shirts, and trendy drugs. It makes me feel, unsettled.

So two Mikes, a dominatrix, an illegal alien, a gay man, and a sarcastic couple get a cheap hotel room in the desert…

2005-05-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

How many real life stories can start off like that? Anyway, Coachella was fun! That’s right, I spent the weekend in the desert wandering in a haze inbetween five different stages of varied live music; from pulsing mind-bending techno to whiny emo indie rock. It was the ultimate in short attention span music festivals. Often on my own, I would walk into a tent, listen to a song or so, if it wasn’t tickling my fancy, I would leave and walk to the next one. So I got a taste of several bands, figuring out if I liked them or not, mostly not. I’m a picky listener and if you don’t have that extra “umph” in your show, it’s time for me to wander. I wish I could give you a lil’ review of every band at the festival but I can’t- I’m only one man people. Here are a selected few that I caught a lil’ of, or if they kicked ass, I saw it all. This list is in no real order, except I saved the best for last.

Wilco – a solid set, these guys were good – as always- but I’m sure they pissed of some random new listeners when they played the ten minute ear-blistering guitar solo song “Kidsmoke”.

Keane – eh, I gave these guys a shot but I wasn’t impressed. Maybe if I new the songs more I would dig it, but nothing about their show made me want to investigate further.

Snow Patrol – Same with these guys, I know there music a little better and I still wasn’t impressed. To poppy for my taste.

Jem – Um, I actually enjoyed their set. It was in the afternoon and something about their light reggae sound made it feel like the right music listen to while lying in the grass on a sunny day as the wind gently cooled my skin.

Weezer- These guys new what they were doing, mixing their set up with some staples and new stuff. I would’ve liked to hear a tune from either pinkerton or maladroit, but it was still a good time.

Chemical Brothers - I definitely had a good time listening to these guys, but their set made me wish I was on more drugs. Oh well, I did leave there so for a bit to witness some of…

Fantomas – as a fan of Mr. Bungle, and Faith No More I had to see this. These guys are the furthest form “easy listening” as you possibly can. I giggled several times listening to these guys as they changed, tempo, keys, and time signature every 15 seconds while growling in latin. An incredibly tight band, just a lil’ to out there even for me.

Four Tet – I walked buy this Dj’s set and I immediately liked it, by the time I went to the bathroom and came back his set was ending which pissed me off, but those 30 seconds I heard will probably make me buy his CD.

Peretz – This is Perry Ferrel of “Janes Addiction” fame doing some DJ stuff. I didn’t know this and I walked into his set to find his skinny ass grooving on stage. I gotta admit, I dug it.

Z-trip – This guy’s schtick was to put a drum beat of one famous song underneath a different famous song, and the crowd loved it. There was something very crowd-pleasing listening Janis Joplin sing “Lord won’t you buy me...” over top a DJ shadow beat. I wasn’t very impressed but I did have a good time. I left his let early to witness….

The Arcade Fire- This Canadian group was definitely having a good time up there, but overall, it didn’t make me want to listen to there album, and I already have it.

The Faint - I caught the end of their set and I could tell I’d dig ‘em . I’ll put them on my amoeba list. This band ended up backing…

Bright Eyes – I was a lil’ disappointed. Ireally wanted to hear anything off of “ I’m awake, It’s morning” but instead they played 95% “digital Ash in a Digital urn”. It was okay. Connor, the brains behind it all is this 5’2”, 105 lbs guy with a high voice while he hides behind a hoody. If I didn’t know better I could have sworn he was 12.

Stereophonics – This rock band was decent, but recently I’ve wanted more out of my rock and roll - something more tangible than loud guitar riffs and stylish signers.

Hernan Cattaneo – I saw this DJ before chemical brothers, and I liked him more than chemical brothers. I’m sure he’d consider that a compliment.

Sage Francis- I wasn’t actually at his stage but nothing was playing around him so I heard it as I ate my expensive crappy Chinese food. This Hip- Hop rapper was too big on himself for “spreading the truth” when all he did was say politically charged sayings without any backing. Not impressed. Dude, listen to Rage Against the Machine and learn something.

New Order – Well I only really saw these has-been’s so I can get a good “seat” for the band after them, so layed down and listened to these guys go though their 80’s hits and mediocre new songs. I know many more people who would’ve enjoyed this more than me.

The Bravery – I was not impressed with new- age revival band. Go figure.

The Fiery Furnaces – I stayed at this set for about a song or two. They had an interesting sound, but I didn’t like it juxtaposed with the female singers voice. Call me sexist. Whatever.

Nine Inch Nails – DEFINITELY the best of the weekend. Trent and his new band kicked ass on some new songs as well as some old favorites. He even pulled out a hidden track from “broken” that I was psyched to hear. Seeing Trent definitely bubbled up some old feelings of angst and isolation that I felt in middle/high school, when I predominately listened to him, which was weird – put I enjoyed it nonetheless. I’ll buy the new album and I might actually listen to it a bit. Trent apparently has been lifting weights in his hiatus, cause he went from skinny white goth boy to buff front man to a mature industrial band, which proved he’s long from being a has been band. Both young and older people in the crowd dug his set, and you could see the power and heart he puts into his stage show. It really kicked ass and it made the weekend worth the ticket price.

Very Tired Unfunny Teachers

2005-04-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

Good morning,

I’ve been pretty damn busy recently so I apologize for the lack of posts, it looks like I’ll be taking hiatus in about a month, so if I stop writing for a long period of time, you know I’m maxin’ and relaxin’ with “blogging” being the furthest thing from my mind..
It’s interesting to feel my body react to stress. All kinds of sh*t happens when mental/physical stress is on you. Insomnia, random sweats, stomach issues, and is this body reacting to stress? Why? Is it supposed to help things? If only I paid more attention in “Stress Management” class in College.
You heard me right, I took a three credit course at University of Maryland called “Stress Management” and no, it wasn’t lessons on smoking pot. Yes, it was a cake class, and I’m not ashamed for taking it. I was an undeclared major then - gimme a break. I remember little about it, one time the teacher hypnotized the entire class. The funniest thing to ever happen in a college class for me happened in this one. While discussing how fat clings to arteries, my teacher said in a very “new age” voice, “It’s kind of like when you stay out in the sun to long, you know drinking beer on the roof and such, and you’re all dry afterwards so your roommate lathers you up with Crisco - you’ll feel better, but you just don’t feel right.”
I shit you not. If what he said was intended to be a joke, not a single person in the room laughed, (the class was over 100 students). I’m pretty sure no one was even paying attention. Well, I was, and I didn’t laugh, but I did make eye contact to some random guy across the room and we both had the most confused look on our faces. It was like this dude and I both telepathically said “Did I just hear what I thought I heard? What the Fuck? You got me, dude.”
I like that story.

That’s quality writing; you see why I haven’t been blogging during my very tired mornings.

Mike! True Hollywood Story

2005-04-18T14:18:00.000-07:00

Here’s some back story. The summer before my last year in college, I helped my good pal Giuseppe with the production of his short film “The Kegler”. The movie is about an alcoholic bowler who comes to terms with his secret obsession of playing with dolls. The title character was played by an Actor who was quite a staple in Emerson short films for a reason - he was good. The movie was finished, it was screened a couple times, made it into a festival or two, and a good time was had by all.

Now back to the present. Both Giuseppe and I are out here in LA and we’ve heard that the “Kegler” was also out here in the Sunny capital of vanity. Seppe has had some online correspondence with him, but nothing much. Another actor from Kegler was in town recently and met Guiseppe for some lunch, some ass-kissing, and some catching up where he laid down this bombshell. It seems as though “The Kegler” has undergone a change of sorts since moving out here. He has come to the conclusion that he should’ve been born a woman and has undergone hormone therapy and some surgery to correct this problem. That’s right folks, he’s a Tranny. When I first heard this, after my obvious reaction of “NO SHIT! You’re Kidding?”, then I thought “Well, there’s a first in my life.” I know a transsexual. Granted I have yet to “hang” with the Tina Dee (his new name) but Giuseppe and I are discussing meeting her/him, just for the fuck of it, you know. I would find it hard not to ask the obvious questions like, why? How much surgery? How much more are you willing to go? Does that mean you’re gay? – Well, not gay because he/she is now a woman but, um I mean, does he like men? Etc. This list goes on.

The thing that solidified the reality of all of this, is Tina’s Website, devoted to his/hers new persona. For all of you out there who knew “The Kegler” you guys should check it out to see what he’s up to. For all who are just curious, go ahead, but don’t make fun of the guy, I’m sure he’s very serious in his choices. I know it’s hard to not laugh, I mean come ‘on I’m only human people; I’m working on taking him seriously before we meet with Tina, if we meet with Tina. My god, if I knew when I was 13 that I would eventually know a Tranny……

http://www.transangeles.com

Why the Delay?

2005-04-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

So I got a complaint last night. It seems I haven’t blogged in ten days. I only have this to say for myself. It’s Pilot season. My job has become seriously hairy, and I do not always have time to write for an extended period of time. It has slowed down a bit this week, but now I’m working on a project (with my new laptop) on mixing the Flaming Lip’s Experimental album “Zaireeka” into 5.1 surround sound. This album came on 4 CD’s intended to be played simultaneously with four different CD players. This chore proved to be quite a pain in the ass, and never allowed a casual listen, (you always had to have 1 or 2 patient friends over) so I’m putting all four CD’s onto one DVD and mixing it cosmically to heighten the recording’s “trippiness”. I should be done by sometime next week, so if you’re at all interested in hearing it, gimme a call, and head over to my place for a night of swirling audio ecstasy.

One review and a lot of rambling.

2005-04-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

Sin City.

Cold-Blooded High Art. -- My mind was assaulted with this juxtaposition. This noir hyper-real predominately black & white comic book story was amazing to look at and a joy to lose myself in. I often just sat and appreciated the shadows and highlights they were able to cast onto Bruce Willis’s Face especially since it was shot HD Film. The occasional color splatter (sometimes blood was red, sometimes white, sometimes yellow) eye color, flashing lights etc. was a glorious choice – It’s technical landmark if anything at all.

Now for the Story. – This flick tickled my inner 13 year old. There are three main characters (each has their own story) but it might as well be the same character. Big grisly jaded alpha-males who no longer have problems killing people while saving the damsels (well – scantly clad hookers) from the bad guy. All of them have scarred faces, they speak (mostly voice over) in guttural chain-smoking growls as they perform superhuman feats of blood splattered glory. I loved stuff like this as pubescent confused boy. Big guys shooting bad guys while holding naked chicks over their shoulder - An ultimate male fantasy.

As I watched this movie I thought about the level of reality in fiction. I’ve also recently seen David Lynch’s “Wild at Heart” for the first time but the office has been busy so I have yet to write a review. Anyway both of these movies contemplate the hyper real. There is very little based in reality in both of these movies, but I’ll speak of Sin city at the moment. Certain Laws of physics, common sense, hell even movie logic don’t apply in this flick. Men jump from rooftops to the ground and land on their feet. Characters get shot 20 times and live through it, characters that are 7 feet tall. But in this movie you accept it, hell - you enjoy it. All movies are fantasy, so why not exaggerate? I don’t really believe this. I’m working on two screenplays at the moment, one has reality turned up a notch (hopefully a comedic one) the other (which is only going on in my mind) should never leave the limits of reality. But as I think of it, I worry about its potential entertainment value. I firmly believe movies should be entertaining (call me wacky) and I’m not going to write it unless someone will “enjoy” it. I wanted it to be like Sex, Lies and videotape. Very real, but how many people do you know can only get sexual satisfaction from watching women talk about sex on video. Something about the story has to extraordinary.
Think of what I was talking about with those European Thrillers. They establish these very real characters with very real lives, then something insane happens to them, and you believe it. You care about them, they’re real. They remind you of your next door-neighbor, your sister, your brother, you. The level of reality in the fiction is balanced. It’s not so real it’s boring, but it’s not so fake you don’t believe it.
Ahh, the suspension of belief – film school – agh! I think I learned something!
The only problem now is that balancing reality and fiction is probably the most difficult writing. Sure some testoreone filled crazy person can get behind a computer and think up 7 foot tall loose cannon’s shooting phallic guns while flying through the air – or I can write and write about my boring day at work, but the person who can pull off the happy medium between the two – that’s good writing. Now saying that, I feel I should say that I loved “Sin City” in all of its fantasy. I think it’s one of the best Action movies of the past decade, which isn’t saying much. Since the early nineties, Action flicks have predominately sucked. I would say that there is maybe one good one a year, and they are Comic Book movies.
I think the only reason this entry is still going at the moment is because I’m working on a Sunday and all I have to do right now is to wait. So I write. It’s better than watching Sunday afternoon TV.
When I was a kid, that’s when my Dad watched TV. His football games, or golf, or whatever. I occasionally wish I could enjoy watching sports, but I try and end up putting on a movie. I wish I brought my new computer with me to work. Technically, with my new purchase - I can write/record/mix a song on it – shoot a video for the song and edit it, mix it to 5.1 surround sound and burn it to a DVD equipped with interactive menus. I have the programs for all of that; I just need to learn how to use them. That’s a different story.

I’m going to stop here. You can tell I planned this in advance can’t you.

Actually I’m not. I think everything I just said about fiction holds true to music. I’ve found I listen to two different kinds of music. One is Gritty, sparse “human music” with a guy/girl singing with a flawed voice over an acoustic guitar and not much else. The second is spacey, experimental, out-of-this world music that surpasses the limit human controlled musical instruments. Then of course there is Wilco who is doing both of those at the same time. I guess that’s why they are probably my favorite bad at the moment.
I love the raw human emotion of folk based music, but I love the fantasy of computer- enhanced space rock.
Now the happy medium between the two is probably more difficult than writing well balanced fiction, but that doesn’t keep everyone with guitar from trying. I can’t accurately tell you what makes me love a song/album/band. I just do. You can hand me a CD of one band, and I love it. Then you can say, “Hey Mike, this band is pretty much doing the same thing as that last band you love so check it out.” So I do and I’m not impressed. The difference between those two hypothetical CD’s is indecipherable, but I like one and I am indifferent to the other. Why Don’t I actually use a real example?
Broken Social Scene and “The Arcade Fire”. Now these bands are hometown friends, I think they even share a member or two. But I’m in love with BSS music. I know now that I’ll probably follow this bands career even after they surpass their creative peak, (Like I have with Pearl Jam, but that’s a different blog) Arcade Fire however, are totally blaw to me. They sound like a mixture of “modest mouse” “Interpol” and when the girl occasionally sings “bjorkish” (just in her voice). I couldn’t care less, AND I like the bands they sound like Very curious. Anyway enough writing- the thing I was waiting for is here.

Enacting Procrastination

2005-03-23T23:51:00.001-08:00

Enacting Procrastination

Right now I’m supposed to be writing an angry letter to my ex-landlord who decided to charge me (among other things) $350 to put up blinds. Those better be the best fu*king blinds there is, I mean they gotta have the Mona Lisa on one side, give off a pleasant vanilla mist smell, help prevent colon cancer, and grant wishes. (Mental note: I need to work on that patent.) But what am I doing at the moment? Talking to you guys, my fine and wondrous readers – I know every one of your names (and I’ve probably been drunk with you on more than one occasion. If I haven’t – What are you doing Saturday?)

Why do I do this? I need to write this letter, that damn crazy woman really pisses me off and I hate that she thinks she can just take my money and I’ll kneel over and take it up the ass. But when I sit down at my computer (at work) I start reading the legalese pertaining to how wrong she is and I just lose all momentum. I think, “Hmmmm, I wonder what Andrea is doing at work? Maybe I should ask her on IM. OOH and I can play spider solitaire while I do it. SCORE!” I feel like I need someone to just be yelling in my ear about how horrible Ms. Landlord is to keep me motivated. I mean the bitch charged me $250 dollars for cleaning, the last time I checked a maid service charges about$ 60-100 tops, and how hard is it to clean a friggin empty apartment?
I guess it’s the self destructive part of me, or maybe vengeance is just not that interesting to me. Well, that’s not true, if you came up to me asked if I wanted to go to her house and pop her one, I’d probably take the drive – even though it is rather morally ambiguous to beat up an old lady even though she did cheat me out of a large portion of money – I should probably stick to a nasty letter with my proper legal citations.

I need to stay on task here, this blog is about procrastinating damnit, and I’m going to stay on topic. Okay, I have a question? Is it “Damnit” or “Dammit” I’ve seen it both ways, and I want to be right. I have a bad enough time trying to spell – I blame genetics- and laziness as a child.

I can figure out the most unessential things to do instead what I need to do. I’ve tried to buckle up and clean my room for like two weeks now, but every time I, turn on my inspirational music and start moving around, I think of something else more important. “I should really organize my socks” or maybe think of a Simpson’s joke, then sit down and watch the episode. “You’d never guess, but now my pants are chaffing me” oh Jimbo- you’re so funny. What was I talking about? Oh yeah…

Maybe tomorrow I’ll actually write the letter, and get it out by earlier next week. Way to be assertive Mike.

Yay for reviews!

2005-03-22T16:34:00.000-08:00

Croupier

This low budget British thriller is top notch. I can see why Clive Owen’s career skyrocketed after this flick. My only problem was that the writer felt it necessary to put in a cheesy “gambling” related phrase in a scene where there is no gambling involved. (I.E. “Are a Gambling man?”) But there were only a few of those dispersed throughout the film. I’m starting to really like European thrillers compared to America’s. This is just a generalization, but they tend to be more character based, they start out a lil’ slow, because they are building the character, but once the bad stuff starts happening, you care so much more what happens. So I recommend this and other related recommended movies, “Dirty Pretty Things” (British) and “Read My lips” (French).

Word Wars

This Documentary about people obsessed with the game scrabble is, well – what you would expect it to be – a lil’ boring. Now I like scrabble, I would even go and say I’m a fan of the game, but these people are insane. There is a guy who studies 7 letters words on flashcards AS HE DRIVES! These are the kind of guys who will laugh hysterically anagrams. This flick follows four dorks to the championship tournament in San Diego, and there tiles and tribulations (get it? tiles instead of trials – hilarious) on their way. Now the average score of an addict is around 400-500, whereas my BEST score is somewhere around 300. Of course I’ve played games with people who barely get over a 100 – some of which are reading this, so you can get an idea of the level of obsession, these guys don’t have jobs so they can play scrabble more. I’m all for devoting your life to something –but a game? Not for me. So if you find the random things I’ve mentioned in this paragraph interesting, rent this. If you think I’m a dork for even renting this movie, screw you guys.

An Asessment of the Christmas CD's.

2005-03-19T14:15:00.000-08:00

After months have passed, and a listen to my mixes I gave to pretty much anyone who would possibly reading this blog, I’ve gained a third party’s view. I’ve received some slack for the mixes repeating bands, and I have this to say about it; I took the wisdom from Pink Floyd where they would repeat certain musical themes, chord progressions, to make an album feel cohesive. With the repetition of bands I hoped to accomplish the same thing, for not only the individual CD to sound cohesive, but the entire set.

Metal = I’m proud of this one, other than a few minor glitches I want to fix; the feel of this mix was intentionally created and, in my opinion, accomplished.

Heart= I can’t listen to this Mix, all but three songs are directly related to a difficult time in my life.

Dance= Nonstop and fun, but this is the only mix I feel is effected negatively from the repetition of bands.

Artsy= I’ll grant the criticism “It gets a little slow in the end” some credit, but experiments challenge ones views of what’s entertaining/interesting. I also wanted this CD to have a time period attached to it. For it to be a glimpse at the present, not a survey of the past.

I hope you all are enjoying the music.

Mike's Movie Quiz

2005-03-18T14:38:00.000-08:00

Today I thought; Why not make a Movie equivalent to yesterdays quiz?

A. Name one movie you will always be able to sit down and watch. Always.

Empire Strikes Back

Aa. Name 5 movies that you can sit down in anywhere in the story, know exactly what’s going on, and enjoy enough to not turn it off.

1. Fight Club
2. Rushmore
3. The Big Lebowski
4. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
5. Any of the Lord of the Rings.

B. The last five movies you’ve seen that you would recommend to the majority of your friends.

1. Catch-22
2. A Very Long Engagement
3. The Aviator
4. Million Dollar Baby
5. American Splendor

C. The last five movies you’ve seen that you WOULDN’T recommend to anyone.
(Or as many as you can remember)

1. Jersey Girl
2. Rounders
3. Alien vs. Predator
4. The Majestic (not a recent but horrible)
5. The Brown Bunny

D. Five movies you’ve probably seen too many times because of Cable TV.

1. Just One of the Guys
2. Killer Klowns from Outer Space
3. Project X.
4. Morgan Stewart’s Coming Home (I had to look this one up on www.imdb.com)
5. Real Genius (I liked this one though)

D. A Movie that inspired you in the past.

This is going to sound cheesy, but “Good Will Hunting” made me think I could actually do what I wanted to do. I thought about being a movie maker in high school but got discouraged and gave up; until I saw this movie and heard about the way it was made. I later heard a rumor that William Goldman (three-time Oscar winning screenwriter), “script-doctored” Matt and Ben’s script to change it from an action/thriller to what it is. That didn’t really change that I thought I could write a movie with heart and get it made, but it did destroy the magic of the movie. This would explain why neither matt nor Ben haven’t written anything again.

E. A favorite movie from childhood that maturity ruined.

Beetlejuice – I think I just watched this movie to death, so when I watch it now, there is no wonder.

Masters of the Universe – The he-man movie. I don’t think I need to explain this one.

F. A favorite childhood movie that still reverts you to a cereal-eating, bright-eyed rugrat.

Transformers the Movie.

Mike's Musical Quiz

2005-03-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

Instead of a mildy witty blog about my observations on life I decided to create and answer a little fun quiz on your musical tastes. When you read it, copy it, delete my answers, then fill it out yourself and post it as a comment. I’ll post the comments on all the sites if I get enough.

A. Name the last 5 cd’s you’ve bought.

1. The Mars Volta – Frances the Mute
2. NIN – The downward spiral mixed in 5.1 surround sound.
3. Sufjan Stevens – Greetings from Michigan: The Great Lakes State
4. Bright eyes – Digital Ash in a Digital urn
5. A Perfect Circle – eMOTIVe

B. Name the last new (to you) band you got excited about and why.

Sufjan Stevens - because his music is so eclectic, fun, beautiful, and that great whispery voice.

C. Name the last Concert you been to, and if you know it, the next one concert you’re going to.

Iron & Wine at the Avalon (it think that’s right). I’ve got tickets for Coachella but I might go to one earlier than that.

D. Name the one album you think everyone should own.

Miles Davis – Kind of Blue

E. What is the one band you’ve told everyone about, but they still won’t listen too it.

I’m telling you people, BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE are brilliant, go buy “You Forgot it in People” today!

F. Name one memorable CD buy that was a big mistake and why. (Come on, everyone has got ‘em)

Smash Mouth – FuChu Mang What can I say? I liked “walking on the sun” I admit my folly, I was in high school. Give me a break. Screw you guys.

G. Here is a place were you can vent a rant or a rave about a specific band or music in general.

Lenny Kravitz is highly overrated. I wish Hoobastank and Nickelback would just go away. Ashlee Simpson needs to be exposed (to the masses) for what she really is, a no talent hack who doesn’t deserve all the effin’ press. Portishead and Mr. Bungle need to make another album – not together of course.

Now it's your turn. I can’t wait to read you guys answers.

Hotness

2005-03-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

Drea d Matteo, or as some people know her, Adriana for "the Sopranos", just checked me out. Yup, I'm A stud. That is all.

Some Thoughts on Flirting

2005-03-14T17:15:00.000-08:00

Being newly single, the idea of flirting on a regular basis for an actual result is becoming a reality. During the relationship, any flirting - if at all - was a on a purely innocent level, so I never thought about it, much less had any “plan” on getting “any”. To tell the truth, the last time I actually pursued women in dating terms, I was a horrible failure, and it led to a sexually frustrated stand still that lasted over a year.
Oh, I’m so glad those days are behind me, they are such wonderful memories. Like the time I took the women’s lit class at UMCP and was badly flirting with a blonde after class when I got up from my seat and the seat went with me. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, on of those one armed desk/chair thingies came up with me making me fall to me knees WHILE I was pretending to enjoy a captivating conversation on “Frankenstein” and its feminist importance. Wow, I thought I suppressed that memory. I dropped that class, by the way.

How about the time I asked for a girl’s number, so she wrote it on my arm. While she did that I realized my hand was unintentionally on her breast. That was nice, and suave. We turned out to be “friends”. That is an ending to a dating mishap I know all too well.

So now with my maturity, I hope to be a lil’ better at the courtship rituals of the average single and horny human male. Granted, I’m not looking for “hook-ups” - I had a few of those in the past and deemed them ultimately unsatisfying and more work than their worth, but I know “flirting” is a natural and key ingredient to future relationships.

I’m sure the less I think about it, the better I’ll be at it. But of course, how can you ask a man, who regularly steps outside of situations to “study” human behavior for the sake of furthering his writing career, to not be overly conscious of his actions?

All I can do is just to work at it till its second nature, by then I’ll be a suave muthafu**a getting “ass” left and right. Oh, I’ll also be a millionaire writer/director hitting on young “it” girls who want to sleep with me to further their career - so I take advantage of them, snort coke off their naked breasts, and tell them they can have a talking part in my new multi-million dollar feature with Brad Pitt as the star. Was that sarcastic enough for you guys to know it was a joke? Oh, I need to work on that. I’ll add that to the list. Wanna see it?
1. Get better at flirting
2. Work those abs.
3. Become the epitome of masculinity.
4. Read book on Tantric sex. practice, practice, practice.
5. Befriend a Famous Chick Magnet so I can swoop up his throw aways.
6. Pretend to be aggressive and hide my soft friendly “nice” nature.
7. Stop putting everything in “Quotations”.
8. Look up “Charming” in the dictionary. Emulate that.
9. Get “Jude Law” haircut and fake English accent.
10. Exaggerate Sarcasm to ensure “joke” message.

I'm Violating the Signature Rule of Vegas.

2005-03-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

You would think I would regret a weekend of excessive eating, alcohol consumption, and losing money, but it was so fun - I don’t care. I spent my Vegas trip with 8 other gold diggers, and I wasn’t the only one that only came up with a pan of rocks - so it’s not so bad.
This was the first time I went to Vegas when I could afford to lose and play at the big boy tables (if you count min. bet $10 “Big Boy” ) and let me tell you – it’s a whole new world. I remember the first time I went, losing 30 bucks at the nickel slots was kinda depressing – and now I laughed when I dropped that in one hand. I should be scared that I learned to enjoy losing. I’m Vegas’s ideal consumer. I like to drink and I don’t freak out when they dip their hands in my pockets – that’s a volatile combination.
There is something I grew to love - the camaraderie of the blackjack table, especially when you got a fun dealer. The high five with random junk rednecks over blackjack, the thrill of watching your friend doing something risky( or taking a chance yourself), the advice to the newbie at the table, the talkative/funny dealer who plays with you more than just handing cards, it’s great. Be very worried ladies and gentlemen, you might have an addict on your hands.

A Few Words about Kevin Smith

2005-03-10T15:55:00.000-08:00

I have a good friend who hates Kevin Smith, I’m a little reluctant to say “hate” myself because I really liked Dogma but after seeing “Jersey Girl” last night, I think I might have to agree with my friend. It has to be a pretty bad father/daughter movie for a guy who has a soft spot for Father/daughter movies (i.e. me) to hate it. I got glassy eyed watching “Man on Fire” for Christ Sake’s. And this movie? Nothing but some glances at the clock. Maybe it’s because I hate Ben Affleck and think he’s a horrible actor. Or maybe it’s because Kevin Smith creates a world where everyone is in touch with their feelings (and vocal about it) except for the main character that can’t see the obvious choice he has to make in the movie while the audience is yelling at the screen “You’re Happier in Jersey You Friggin’ Idiot!” There is no such thing as subtext, there is no such thing as emotion without dialogue – and cheesy trite dialogue at that. Even the seven year old knows exactly what she wants – how to get it – and has the maturity to understand the needs of others around her. Have you ever hung out with a seven year old? They are selfish bastards! You can’t really blame them because well, THEY ARE SEVEN!

Now I liked Chasing Amy. I thought Clerks and Mallrats were funny when I was in high school and now I might laugh at them if I was stoned (IF). I still like Dogma because I’m a sucker for movie that call for Church reformation because personally I believe Catholicism is in desperate need to be weeded of useless ritual and thousands of years of misinterpretation but that’s beside the point. If you want to discuss my thoughts on the subject – gimme a call – we’ll get coffee. Anyway, back to Kevin Smith. Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back was just horrible. I believe I was baked when I saw it and still thought it was bad. If anyone doesn’t know - it’s real easy to get a stoned person laughing and this movie couldn’t do it for me. Jersey Girl tells me Dogma was a fluke.

I liked Liv Tyler in this movie. She is adorable and I liked the concept of her character (but I think it could’ve been written better) even though the idea of a hot 26 year old student who is up for a mercy hump upon first date (and offering it rather bluntly as well) is a just a male’s wet dream. I’m sure in the several million women in America that have been 26 years old in the last 50 years or so – there has been someone who was up for a similar situation, but I bet you $1000 she did not look anywhere near as good as Ms. Tyler.

If Kevin Smith is going to keep making movies, he is in desperate need for a writing partner who has an idea about the art of subtly and a DP who can shoot something in a more compelling manner. Even, The Shape of Things, which is an hour and a half of two people talking, was better shot than this. He also needs to learn there is more to life than video stores, porn, dick and fart jokes, and trite sentiment. Oh and they are much better actors than Ben Affleck, Yes I know he is your friend Kevin, but you have to see he is a hack, the rest of America knows this.

Three Reviews

2005-03-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

A slow weekend equals more reviews during the week. Expect none next week since I’ll be in VEGAS! For now, here you go.

Catch-22

I’ve read the book and have seen the movie before but since I watched it with such exuberance this weekend; I think I didn’t get it when I was a young lad. I loved this movie with its witty dialogue, allegorical connotations, masterful photography, and wonderful cast of young up-and-comings from the 70’s. I fell in love with its cyclical structure and I wonder why more movies don’t experiment with structure. This also made me think of concept of the 70’s male in film which is drastically different that what we are used to. Anthony Perkins, Art Garfunkel, Alan Arkin, Martin Sheen, Bob Balaban, etc. are all not “Move star” attractive in their youth (with the possible exception of Martin Sheen and Jon Voight) but play as very interesting faces of the era. You can also talk about Jack Nicholson, Bruce Dern, Randy Quaid, Dustin Hoffman, Gene Hackman. Christopher Lloyd, and Brad Dourif who all played significant part in 70’s cinema and are not picturesque men. Gimme one of these guys over Orlando bloom or Colin Farrell, but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, Mike Nichols directed this flick (who is still directing today and very well I might add – “Closer”) so check this flick out when you feel like renting something that doesn’t have an animated talking pet or Jude law.

Battle Royale

This ultra violent Japanese flick was a blast to watch despite its obscured morality. I’ll give you a bit of plot here for this one because I doubt any of you have heard about this movie since it hasn’t been distributed in the US. (I have friends in dorky places) So in the futuristic Japan, there is this “game show” constructed to deal with overpopulation and the disgruntled “problem” youth by sending them an island- giving them weapons- and making them kill each other. The last one standing wins. We are talking about 13 year old grade schoolers here who are all in the same class. The result is a bloody, f*%ked up mess that was way too fun to watch. Picked by their teacher (who got knifed by one of them) these kids battle it out over crushes, grudges, angst, and pure survival which makes the viewer think of which middle school classmate would you kill first if given the opportunity. Mine would be Chris Jenkins, I hated that kid since 1st grade and stayed in school with him till high school graduation. I’m sure my adolescent mind could handle mowing him down with an uzi given the chance. At my current age I wouldn’t (knowing he’s probably still working at the same gas station he did in High school) and unadulterated rage isn’t one of my main emotions anymore (but those puberty hormones and ridiculed fueled angst would have clouded my humane judgment) . If you get a chance to see this movie, I recommend it to all who have a strong stomach and a thread bare desensitized moral code which makes watching youthful gore easy to watch.

A Very Long Engagement

This French/American production was simply amazing. Every frame of this film can be displayed in a museum and studied for its sheer beauty. Audrey Tautou as amazing as usual, I fall in love with her more and more with every movie I see with her in, which makes me not want to watch more considering I have no chance with this French belle.
The story is sweet, gruesome, intriguing, and captivating with every turn. I don’t think I can praise this movie enough. I personally love the elaborate twists of fate that happen in Jeunet’s films. These sequences show creativity that I rarely see in American film. This movie should have won the Oscar for best production design, but The Aviator- which did a damn good job- took home the statue. Watch for this film to come out on DVD folks since it’s out of the theaters (mostly), but meanwhile you should be flogging yourself because you missed the chance to see this movie in theaters so you could bask in all its glory. This film is literature. Guess my recommendation.

GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

2005-03-07T15:54:00.000-08:00

That’s right lady and gentleman; I have achieved one of my weight loss goals this weekend. I have now met my previous lowest weight in my adult life. I reached this before 3 years ago, and now I’m back and I’m keepin’ on it. I should say that I’m definitely more muscular I was before, since I’ve been lifting this time (last time was just cardio) so I probably have less body fat, but who’s paying attention to that. My next goal is ten pounds away, so cross your fingers folks and let’s hope for the best. Oh and if you are counting, that means I’ve lost 41 pounds in 14 months, 21 pounds in the last 2.5 months.
On a related note, this weekend I hiked 12 miles with my friend Renee and boy am my friggin’ sore. We hiked the same trail as my Superbowl hike but went further. Renee had a step counter so we know exactly how far we went (12.03 miles). Any takers on guessing how many steps that is? I’ll post the answer if someone actually comments.
ANYWAY, on our trek we encountered two scary animals. First was a rattlesnake. It rattled, you could see its head, we left it alone (like it asked us too – you usually do what a rattlesnake asks) and Renee and I quietly got the f**k outta-there. I wish I had a heroic story of hearing the snake first, shielding Renee from it, then picking her up and selflessly carrying her slowly by the frazzled reptile. Alas, it was not that cool.
The other time was scarier but only in the mind. So we were walking along, talking, and I heard a growl and shushed Renee. She did not hear it. We went silent and tip-toed away as thoughts of a pouncing Mountain lion soared through my head. I couldn’t see anything in the bush so we just walked slowly and quietly away, I eventually told Renee of what I heard and she had this to say,
“Well I’m glad I didn't hear it. It would have smelled the fear in me.”
I checked the wildlife out on the net today and it could have been either a mountain lion, a bobcat, a badger, a raccoon, a skunk, or a weasel. Now having two cats, I immediately recognized it as very felinesque, so the worst could be true, I haven’t heard the growls of any other those animals but those were the ones on the list most likely to sound like my house cats protecting it’s canned food. You make the call.
We are very proud of our trek, and hopefully I can convince her to hike with me again, since I need to train for my week long trip to Yosemite in June. By then I hope to be a hiking fool.

Things to do before I die (that I have yet to accomplish)

2005-03-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

Things to do before I die (that I have yet to accomplish).

1. Skydive.
2. Take mushrooms on the streets of Amsterdam
3. Hike in a rainforest.
4. Have a Nude Photo shoot (me being the photographer).
5. Play a concert for more than a hundred people (at once).
6. Get published (this blog doesn’t count)
7. Have sex in a semi-public place.
8. Cliff dive.
9. Win big in Vegas.
10. Have my name in Variety.
11. Eat sushi in Japan.
12. Have a model be sad she can’t have me.
13. Have a model.
14. Teach a child how to play drums.
15. Play music with a personal idol.
16. Drink a fruity drink on a beach with clear water.
17. Snowboard
18. See a bear in real life.
19. Play drums for monkeys.
20. Have a respectable actor listen to my advice and take it.

That’s all I have for now, but I’m sure I can think of more which I might post later. Have a list of your own? Please post a comment.

Globalizing and surround sound

2005-03-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

I wish I had a better subject to start off my new wider audience blog. That’s right people starting today you can read my blog in THREE count’em THREE different websites.
1. The original place, http://original_rolandist.blogspot.com/.
2. My friendster page, http://rolandist.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/
3. My “Myspace” page, http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=10363671&Mytoken=20050302113211

Aren’t I cool and up-to-date? Anyway, I want to rave about the simple pleasures of moving in with someone new. My new roommate is laid back, funny and cool. He’s a drummer, a modern hippy (not a nostalgic hippy where they still keep the dreads, the ponchos, and the whole not showering thing) with a house and a kick ass stereo system. I’m going to have to admit some past ignorance at the moment and say I didn’t really know what 5.1 sound actually was. I thought it just was more advanced sound with a possibility for surround, and I was half right. 5.1 is strictly about the separation of sound which imitates more complex sound position with a combination of 5 speakers and a subwoofer. So when you hear birds flying in a movie, they fly from left to right, or back to front.
Well if you didn’t know, they now occasionally mix albums in 5.1 so you can bask in the audio geek glory of your favorite band in surround sound. I picked up Flaming Lips “Yoshimi battles the Pink Robots” in 5.1 and let me tell you, It blew my feeble mind. I thought that album was sonically advanced to begin with and now that you can hear the bass line twirl from speaker to speaker in One More Robot/Symphony 3000-21 or the 5 different drum textures bounce all over the room in Are You a Hypnotist?? . Let me tell you, I drooled with pleasure. If you are bored with this post by now, you’re probably not as dorky as I am. Luckily my new roommate is. There is a God.
If any of you are aware of any other 5.1 albums that’ll make me twitch please let me know.

My Ninth Plan to Get Into the Pants of My Friend's Ex.

2005-02-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

Ed Wood

I haven’t seen this flick since high school and – I attribute this to my maturing filmic taste- I enjoyed this so much more. I also have this vague memory of watching this movie from my bed and a girl (Brooke or Lora) was laying next to me- I didn’t get any – but if there was a girl in my bed in high school , I wasn’t fully watching the movie. Those were the days – of unbelievable sexual frustration and confusion, oh how times have changed. (That was sarcasm people) Back to the movie.
Man that was good. A 2 hour plus flick that didn’t feel like it, with great performances by all. Bill Murray was a lil’ understated but he had a small part. Can Johnny Depp do no wrong? Oh yeah, Astronaut’s wife.
I watched Ed Wood’s blind enthusiasm and felt that I just wasn’t stupid enough to actually make it in this business. I also wish I could walk into so b-movie producer’s office and get him to let me direct his movie, those must have been the days. I admit, this is a weird review. My mind isn’t really on this (that sentence just reminded me to take my meds) and instead of going back and editing all the bunk, I’m leaving it in. Am I the only one who loves all of the tangents the mind goes through as it thinks of one topic? I know you guys don’t care which girl I was laying in bed with in high school (I remembered it was Lora.) but I think it makes the paragraph fun.
By the way, I remember it was Lora because during the movie my sister walked in and asked me why I was wearing my new glasses. I told her that my new Dr told me watching movies is the time I should be wearing the glasses since I have astigmatism. She (my sister) then retorted “You’re just wearing them because you think you look better.” She was right. And the rest of the movie was horribly awkward, because Lora was an ex of a friend of mine (I had a crush on her) and had told me that guys with glasses are hot. Thanks Trisha.
ANYWAY, see the movie. Plus I thought the production designer on the DVD talking about how to make a Black and white movie look good was very interesting.

Bananas and Blow

2005-02-28T13:01:00.000-08:00

I have to rant here. Last week on Friday (I think) I was working late and got to witness about half of Nightline where Diane Sawyer was talking to supermodel Naomi Campbell about her cocaine addiction. Is this news? Does anyone care about the trials and tribulations a supermodel had because she had lots of money to blow on blow? Big Effin’ Deal. So she got high, and what was her reason? Everyone else around me was doing it, and I wanted to feel like a rock star. Wonderful. Not only is this news but, it’s clichéd news. Did Naomi Campbell really ruin her life? No. Did she mildly hurt her life by doing coke, I guess. Apparently she blames her tabloid fodder Psycho-bitchy attitude (which led to a lawsuit) on her coke addiction. Yeah, I’m sure it’s not because she’s grown accustomed to being pampered and ass-kissed 24 hours a day for a decade and lost touch with being a respectable human being. It’s all the coke which, by the way, she was adamant that she took it’s NOT BECAUSE it helps you lose weight.

I feel I’m giving this pile of crap too much lip service. WHY IS THIS NEWS??? Was anyone surprised or shocked that a supermodel did coke? I’m growing more and more frustrated with TV journalism. Not only do they blow every story out of proportion to milk it for all it’s worth but they neglect more serious issues for unknown reasons. Why with all the news channels, on radio and TV that most news which criticize America’s politics comes from other countries? Shouldn’t we be watching our leaders closer than, oh I don’t know, England is. No, we watch hour long interviews with bitchy models whining about the dangers of doing designer drugs. Kids, don’t do it. It may have helped me lose weight so I can be hotter longer, and made me feel great enough to become addicted to it and I really had no side effects other than one lawsuit that I can pay for in my sleep, but drugs are bad m’kay.
What happened to TV news shows actually investigating some wrong doing – you know- exposing the truth that all American’s should know?
Maybe I’m just idealistic or grossly ill informed, but damnit I’m mad.

Blowjobs, Old losers, and cute kitties.

2005-02-22T16:01:00.000-08:00

Inside Deep Throat

This documentary about the legendary 70’s porn flick was very entertaining and informative on the cultural change going on in the era. Not for the prudish out there since it is NC-17 and you do witness Linda Lovelace’s um, talents – which were a site to see on the big screen. Now I’ve never seen porn on the big screen even though I’ve tried to go see the porn movie in 3-D that plays occasionally at the NUart theatre in Santa Monica, but to no avail. It’s an incredibly interesting story around the flick, ranging from how it got made to its effects on the industry and country. I suggest this move to anyone with an inner sociologist and a place in their heart (pants) for pornography.

American Splendor

This was a re-watch of one of my favorite flicks of last year, and I still loved it. The style in which this biopic was made was top notch and the style suited the subject and aided in the overall plot. It’s not too often when you see a biopic that actually has style, creativity, subtlety, and respect for their characters authenticity (not glossing over the more difficult/negative aspects of the real people). And it was funny! It all was suited the overall purpose of the real person’s art, the art of real life. I’m torn. I love the polar opposites in film. I love to be taken away and jolted with fantasy in film but I also love and appreciate movies who strive to represent reality in and interesting way. I guess I’m just eclectic in my tastes. I actually cared more about the characters the second time around, and I think Paul Giamatti did a much better job in this flick than Sideways, so he should’ve got a nomination for this movie not Sideways. So stop whining people, Sideways was good but not that great! Anyway, I recommend this move to all. Even my cat, Thom liked it. He stayed on my lap for the entire flick (which is a rarity) which brings me to my humorous observation for the day.

Animal Affection.

This is not a review. So I moved this weekend which is an entirely different blog but maybe I’ll talk about that later. Anyway so my Tim who has moved with me several times has been doing something weird recently, and I finally figured out why. Tim’s old and diabetic so he’s not as energetic as Thom who isn’t two years old yet, and they both fight for my attention. Thom can easily run up to me and stretch up my leg for me to pet his head when I walk in the door. It’s very cute. He can stay up there for awhile and purrs, but while he does it, Tim comes up behind him and just stares at me. He can’t do that, he’s old. He looks at me and meows and I’ll bend down to scratch his head.

Tim also has taken to finding me in the apartment and leading me to his food bowl by a combination of stares and meows. I’ll follow him to find that he has both food and water, so I initially started to wonder if he is going blind. Then I figured it out. He likes the attention. He thinks of me feeding him as something I do to show my love so he doesn’t really want food, he wants the love from his master. Anyone who still thinks animals are emotionless are fools, but of course, who still thinks that? It occurred to me that you can see this in humans too. Like mothers/grandmothers for example.
I remember I was at my grandma’s house as a kid when she came up to me and asked if I wanted a sandwich. It was late in the afternoon and I wasn’t that hungry but she kept insisting I eat. “If you don’t eat now, you won’t be able to eat the rest of night, just eat a sandwich!” (You have to imagine that in an annoying grandma voice for the fullest affect) well I caved and ate about half of the very plain PBJ she made me and guess what? About an hour later, we ordered pizza.

She just wanted to be motherly. Tim just wanted that everyday feeling of love by me giving him a scoop of dry food. For awhile I thought he just didn’t like “stale” food and would trick him by pouring back the old food in the bag and scooping it out again. It’s easy to trick a cat.
Emotion is a tricky thing. It makes us humans/animals do illogical things that most of the time we know is not needed or wrong. I remember my Mom being happy when I got the flu while I was at home one year, so she could take care of me like she used too. I remember doing chores with my Dad just so I could get a milkshake afterwards (now this goes into the evils and physical consequences of giving your children food as rewards, since I’m still burning off those damn milkshakes, but let’s not get into that.)

Everyone has those little things that they still enjoy simply because it reminds them of being loved. One of mine is definitely being taken care of while sick, but that’s not as illogical. I do have a soft spot for McDonald’s Milkshakes even though I HATE McDonald’s in general AND they don’t even taste like real Ice Cream. Anybody else have these things I’m trying to describe? For all who actually stayed with me on this long post, please submit your sweet lil’ nothings that you hold dear. I can’t wait to hear them.

The Road Not Taken

2005-02-17T14:30:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was offered by a friend to attend a comedy show with Dave Atell last night for free. Now I love Dave Atell and I haven’t seen a live stand-up show for awhile but since my life has been rather hectic (by that I mean a lot of physical exertion and less sleep) I decided to decline. I gotta pack tonight/ tomorrow night and move and clean and etc. etc etc etc. so I took last night as my relax night. So I get a call from that friend today and apparently Chris Rock decided to show up at the show unannounced to try out some material for the upcoming “Oscars”. Damnit. That would’ve been friggin great but my lame ass didn’t go because “Lost” was on. Plus, the episode was just so-so. Oh well. That’s just proof that you never know in LA. You could go to some small concert and Beck is playing an acoustic set, or a stand-up show and Chris Rock is trying out his PG-13 chops. I’m not going to dwell on it or anything, but I thought it was interesting enough to share to you folk. I just thought “Wow, what a serious title for such a nonessential post.”

P.S. I saw Rob Reiner on the lot today.

Why can't I be you, Mr. Soderbergh?

2005-02-16T13:26:00.000-08:00

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Literature. I rented this oldie but goodie (by oldie I mean circa ‘89) because I was reminded of it somewhere recently (probably somewhere on my A.D.D.-like internet rambling). I may be a lil’ biased since I’m a big fan of the director but you can see his talent and why Hollywood/Sundance got so excited over him after seeing this. Very subtle & nuanced writing/acting for each character, simply shot, and expertly put together. Frankly, it was inspiring. It’s an example of how a simple movie about 4 characters can so accurately convey a decade’s frame of mind. The social/sexual dysfunction of the group shows the overall isolation as a result of the emptiness morality of the “me” decade. Marriage without love, Marriage without sex, sex without love, and love without sex; all of it correlates to the “money without happiness” era which is also in the movie. Peter (actors names) and Andie have “money/security without happiness” and Laura and James have “happiness without Money/security” (well for the most part, because every character is sad in some way. Mostly, the movie is inspiring to me because of the independent film achievement. This movie started a movement that is still going on and the fact that it still inspires is astounding. I hope to be able to write a movie like this, and I will. Soon.

Amusing Observations

2005-02-14T12:38:00.000-08:00

So I’m bored at work and searching for something to discuss on my blog, but I can’t think of anything. No humorous anecdotes from the weekend, I spent most of my time packing and doing errands. How about amusing observations? Do I have any? I mostly observe people especially when I’m in public alone. And by Public I mean Runyon Canyon, grocery stores, and movie theatres. Well I guess there are a few things I’ve noticed.
For example, it seems to me that the majority of women (of all ages) in Los Angeles don’t wear clothes; they wear costumes. This is a negative thing. What happened to a t-shirt and jeans? No, that’s not acceptable, you have to be fashionable. You have to wear an 80’s style miniskirt, baby tee (with belly showing), matching scarf, body glitter, corn rows and knee-high ugg boots. I hate to tell you girls, that doesn’t look good, you look circus-freakish. Since when is trendy mean over the top? It’s okay to accessorize but there is a limit. Now I’m not really into fashion so I can’t define the rules. All I can do is tell you what makes me snicker when I walk down the street. Men fall victim to this as well. I saw a couple yesterday in Burbank that were both wearing camouflage. The woman had a skin tight camouflage tank top, black stretch pants and camouflage heels (I shit you not), while the guy had the baggy camouflage pants, plenty of bling, a black tank top, and that black schmear underneath his eyes. I don’t care how big you are dude, you look like a moron.
I sympathize with people who try to exercise with their babies. They spend so much money on sport strollers or baby backpack things etc. but they still can’t walk 5 steps without having to stop to fix something. Why try? It’s interesting to see who works out in groups. Girls almost always go with someone, be it with boyfriend/girlfriend(s) daughter etc. Only gay men work out in groups. Rarely do I see two straight guys climbing the Hollywood hills, chatting away. Then there are the very unfit people who are wearing street clothes obviously being dragged by their significant other. I was once that person. These people are sweating their ass off and slowing their mates down, (their mate usually has some sort of disgruntled look on their face). Now I can’t imagine walking behind my dog with a bag of poop tied to the leash. Yes, I’ve entertained the idea of dog ownership but I don’t think I’ll ever love a pet that much to walk behind them picking up their droppings as they go. I have a hard enough time dealing with a litterbox.
It think that’s all for now. Maybe I’ll have more later, maybe I won’t. You’ll just have to stay tuned.

Don Cheadle is my Hero!

2005-02-14T10:07:00.000-08:00

Hotel Rwanda

Rock on, Don Cheadle! I have to say I’m a huge fan of him before and he did a great job as the lead in this very important story. It’s a shame I have to hear about horrible international atrocities that happened in my lifetime once they fictionalize it for the screen. I was in high school while it happened so most likely I was more interested in the girl with big boobs in English Class (Brooke) or Pearl Jam’s new album (Vitalogy) so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This movie is unique, because the direction and writing were mediocre at best but it still held its emotional impact (No, I didn’t cry. I’m a cold & heartless when it comes to senseless genocide) and the lead pulled off an amazing performance. It’s a shame a project like this couldn’t afford a better cinematographer or writer to juice up the shots and chill out the cliché dialogue. With such an emotionally heavy subject it is difficult to avoid the heavy-handed dialogue and teary monologues. Now saying that, I have to mention that the movie is still better than the majority of the Hollywood shit out now (Boogeyman, The Wedding Date, Love is Nice, Spooky Children Stare at Dead People, etc.) I know he’s the dark horse (no pun intended) but I hope Don Cheadle gets the Oscar so he can get more leading roles and sell out to make a buttload of money (not so much for my sake but for him). I should also mention that this movie was independently made in Africa which would explain the lack of the flashy Hollywood visual style, but the movie is in English for all of you subtitle-phobes. I recommend to all.

Steve? Tom? What Happened?

2005-02-10T14:58:00.000-08:00

The Terminal

SPOILERS, but you shouldn’t care because I don’t recommend the movie.

I think I can safely say that this is the worst Steven Spielberg directed movie I have ever seen (I haven’t seen “Always” before you ask). It started out well enough. I was enjoying it for a good portion of it. I was digging all the lil’ visual tricks with the reflections in all the glass, I liked the bad guy played by Stanley Tucci, and Catherine Zeta Jones wasn’t that bad (she wasn’t great but, oh well) Hell, Mr. Littlejeans from “Rushmore” was in it, and I love Mr. Littlejeans.

Somewhere around the end of the second act it got bad. For those who haven’t studied structure, that’s about ¾ of the way into it. I think it started when Stanley Tucci asked Catherine’s character into his office to tell her “the truth” then asked her most stupid question ever, obviously for the sake of the plot. I HATE when a character says/does/asks something that the character would NEVER DO but because the plot needs the something so they just throw into any old scene. Before the end, the movie was subtle. It developed character and the plot very nicely and smoothly and I watched it thinking I wanted to watch the movie again to study how the writer did it but then all hell broke loose. It decided to end with no bearing on reality, becoming this fantastical Hollywood tripe.

I was all expecting some sort of bittersweet ending but , instead they went for sugary sweet, so much so that if it was a cake you would eat only half the piece before you felt like you were going to be sick. Everything good happened the same day at the same time, and before that all kinds of things started happening that would’ve never happened. Hanks building a fountain for example and his “boss” not doing anything about it because if he asked Hanks what he was doing the boss would look dumb. That was more or less his dialogue. I just loved it when the war in Hanks country was over and while they were celebrating Catherine showed up and gave him a day long visa and told him she was going back to her lover (The attempt at being bittersweet, which didn’t work because you didn’t really care about her character.) Then Tucci’s character went from a good guy stuck by his job to make “evil” decisions, to just plain evil and spiteful. Why? We liked him. Why did he have to just start being a bitch?

Overall the ending ruined the f*cking movie. It’s a shame, when a movie has a bad ending it just destroys it. You can’t leave the movie saying “That was a great movie, too bad about the ending” no you leave saying “What happened? That movie blew!” I give it a 2, maybe.

Ms. Tautou, You Will Think I'm a Stud Someday.

2005-02-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

Dirty Pretty Things

For some reason I started watching this movie thinking it was going to have subtitles but no, it’s British. This was a good movie, a well written thriller that seemed very real to life, meaning no aliens or supernatural stuff. I found myself tired but needing finish it, which is good, it kept me up. I especially liked the lead casting choices. Audrey Tautou was damn adorable but she was not the lead even though that’s what to promo what’s you to think. The real main character is an African man that I think would not be generally considered “a hot leading man”. He was very “normal” looking and an amazing actor and you believed his and Ms. Tautou’s relationship in the film. So I suggest this movie to all who enjoy a good thrill ride that doesn’t involve killer creatures. So on my scale I would say 4= oh, I don’t know, really good.

Not a review

I devised a list of the possible stages of the new Mike (physically speaking) based on the amount of weight I need to lose to get there.
-7 lbs = my lowest weight, so I’m “Looking Good”
-17 lbs = “Stud”
-27 lbs = “Every Woman’s Dream”
-35 lbs = “Roman God”

Now I would be happy to make it too “Stud” especially considering I know the lowest side of the ideal weight for my height is “Roman God” and I have a much larger frame than other 6’2” ers. So my goal is “Stud” and we will see if I’m satisfied by then. Wish me luck.

A Pimply High School Dream Might Come True.

2005-02-08T13:18:00.000-08:00

My new roommate came by my place today to assess my stuff and we were looking at my drumset and this was our conversation.

HIM: (makes rapid bass drum noise with his mouth) I have a friend who's really good at double bass.
ME: Yeah, I really don't use it much anymore. I used it a lot in high school when I was listening to a lot of Primus.
HIM: You're kidding me.
ME: what?
HIM: That's my friend.
ME: Tim Alexander?
HIM: Yeah, I'm in a band with him, he'll be over the place a lot.
ME: No shit.
HIM: Yeah he was in Blue man for awhile.
ME: Wow ( I'm trying to hold back from doing a lil' geeky dance of joy)
HIM: (He shows me Tim's picture on his phone with his number next to it.)

Well there you have it. I'm going to be living with a guy who is in a band with my teeange idol. Both Tim Alexander and Chad Smith (of the Chili Peppers) were the reasons I started playing drums. Let's hope I don't geek out when I meet him.
More Later

Music Post Thingy

2005-02-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

I got this list from http://www.planetdan.net/blog/ a very funny blog.

1. Total amount of music files on my computer:
8.57 gigs (2358)

2. The last CD I bought was:
I got cd's for birthday since then but the last one I bought was The Oceans Twelve Soundtrack. Very funky.

3. The last song I listened to before reading this message:
Dream on by Aerosmith. internet radio.

4. 5 songs I often listen to or that mean a lot to me:

1. Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam -- it's very empowering.
2. Washing of the Water by Peter Gabriel-- this song gets more and more poignant.
3. Fearless by Pink Floyd-- see number #1
4. Janine by Soul Coughing -- a great weird love song.
5. Naked as We Came by Iron & Wine --my new favorite love song, and the word love isn't even mentioned.

My Current Five Favorite Bands:
1. Iron & Wine
2. Broken Social Scene
3. Wilco
4. Tortoise
5. Rage against the Machine ( that's a refind from high school)

Five Songs for Shaking My Ass:
1. Talkin' Loud and Saying Nothin' by James Brown
2. A Message From Ms. Matronic by Scissor Sisters
3. Disseminated by Soul Coughing
4. Michael by Franz Ferdinand
5. Number Song by Dj Shadow

Five CDs I Think Everyone Should Own:
1. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco
2. Billy Breathes by Phish
3. OK Computer by Radiohead
4. Blood Sugar Sex Magik by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Kind of Blue by Miles Davis

Five Songs that I Love to Sing Really Loudly:
1. Hotel Yorba by The White Stripes
2. Hummingbird by Wilco
3. Tire Me by Rage Against the Machine
4. Lady Madonna by The Beatles
5. The Maestro by The Beastie Boys

5. Who am I going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?
I'm going to limit the pool to the people A. who I know read this blog B. Have a blog of their own. So then my list is, Becky , Reagan, and Renee.

Did you think I would forget about Reviews?

2005-02-07T17:38:00.000-08:00

Million Dollar Baby

Wow, this was good. I’ve noticed my reviews of movies I liked are shorter simply because I think all you need to know is that the movie is good to go see it. If it’s bad, then you need to know why you shouldn’t see it. These of course are only my humble opinions so take it for what it’s worth. The friend I went to see the movie with thought it felt too long. I was fine by the length. My major criticism is that Clint’s acting in the first 10-15 minutes was bothersome. He was too grisly, it almost seemed like he was making fun of his own persona (my friend felt the same). It soon faded and I enjoyed the rest of the movie. Now does it deserve Best picture or Best Director? Um, that’s a difficult choice. I’ve seen all of the contenders (save for “Vera Drake”) and I can really whittle it down to two – this movie or the Aviator. We will see what’ll win. If those right wing assholes who are making a fuss over this movie have ruined the movie for you, I’m sorry. Be comforted by the fact that they are full of shit. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go see the movie before you do. I’m working on a rating system at the moment but I only know the best rating. On a scale of 5, this one is 5=literature.

Code 46

This flick was on my Netflix because I heard it was a smart low budget sci-fi made by a decent director. Well first, it’s only sort of sci-fi. The ideas surrounding the plot are very sci-fi but the plot was just a love story. This movie was trying to be literature but I think it failed. A lot of the far out rules and details of this futuristic society was explained through slightly incoherent dialogue, so I was confused for a good portion of it. I liked the ideas it was trying to explain (fate, the human ability to follow their heart instead of mind, the good and bad things of an oppressive society, etc) but the movie on a whole just fell flat. I’m unsure what was wrong with the movie. I think more had to happen, but one of my favorite movies is Lost in Translation and nothing happens in that movie. I liked this movie more after I watched the “making of” featurette on the DVD but it just proves that I was right in my gut when I thought it was just a poorly executed good idea. So if you’re a fan of sci-fi, watch it but be weary. I wouldn’t suggest this movie to most of my friends or my family, but I didn’t think it was horrible, just a lil’ boring.

Me, an athlete? I thought I would never see the day.

2005-02-07T14:31:00.001-08:00

While America (a large portion anyway) got drunk and ate deep fried salty fat in celebration of a major sporting event, I hiked a mountain range. Wow, that sentence is very self gratifying, oh well. On Sunday I was supposed to be writing, I was invited to two Super bowl parties but instead I dragged my hung over ass to Brentwood and hiked the Santa Monica Mountains.
Let’s start at the beginning. On Saturday I hiked with a friend of mine at Topanga Canyon and while I was there I found on a map a longer trail that started in Will Rogers Historic Park in Brentwood. I was interested, you see-- I’m doing a very intense trail in June at Yosemite and I need to do something that’s at least the same length before hand and 17 mile trails are hard to come by. That night I got severely drunk and ended up staying a bud’s couch, something I like to avoid but I was celebrating. I got an apartment!
So I woke up at 9:30 with my head feeling at least twice its size and in a weird place so I quickly left and made myself my patented hangover remedy. It includes a hefty breakfast, lots of coffee, water, vitamins, Tylenol, and a lil’ jibba. I was looking at a very boring day at home and so said “F*ck it!” and started getting ready for a hike. I went to put my clothes on and all my boxer briefs were in the laundry (a very important garment when hiking I have found) but again I said “Fu*k it!” and found other underwear. Of course my head still hung rather oddly (the one a top my neck you perv!) as I was very lightheaded but for some reason, I was determined. I walked outside and it was raining and cold. Just great! So I told myself that I would drive there and if the rain let up I would hike. If it didn’t, at least I knew where it was now. As I drove through the incredibly wealthy neighborhood near the park I passed a kid’s soccer game. There was a plethora of kids kicking around a ball in the rain as their parents watched from underneath their umbrellas and it occurred to me, “Athletes don’t care about rain.” Since I’m now a kind of athlete, I should adopt their philosophy.
I showed up there and started my trek up the mountain in the rain. It turns out the trail I was on is 55 miles long and goes through several state parks in the Santa Monica mountains. The rain was light enough to just cool me down I proceeded onward. My only limitation on the hike was that the park closed at sunset so I had to turn around at a certain time (3:30) to make sure I was not locked in. The entire time, I was lightheaded, and my stomach was mad at me but the rest of my body was very happy. So I hiked for 2.5 hours uphill and sat down to have an energy bar. I took off my long sleeved shirt and I literally gave off steam. You see-- it was cold (Southern CA. cold not real cold mind you) but I felt very hot. I finished my bar and started the hike back down the mountain range. It was pretty cool being in a place where there was no visible man-made objects. It’s a rarity.
Anyway, I’m going on too long about this. I‘m not sure exactly how many miles I did since there were no mile markers but I came up with a mathematical estimate. It takes me about an hour to do another 2.5 mile uphill hike and since I hiked for 4 hours I’m guessing around 10 miles, give or take a mile.
I’m impressed with myself. It’s my first athletic achievement in a couple years. What I like the most was that the old Mike would have lost my momentum at one of those lil’ stupid obstacles (oh well, I guess I can’t go because my undies are dirty!) in the beginning but now, I drove myself to do it. The tide is turning in my favor.
NOTE: I reposted this because of all the horrible grammatical errors and typos. My bad. Hopefuly I fixed them all.

News and random thoughts

2005-02-04T13:49:00.000-08:00

So I don’t have much to say, but I feel like posting. I’m looking for an apartment to share, if anyone knows anybody, but of course all of you are either in different states or know me and already know this info. I haven’t seen a movie in 2 days if you can believe it. On Wednesday I watched “lost” even though it was a repeat, and then did a lil’ cleaning. Yesterday I had a writing group meeting where we discussed letting other people in the group and the first act of the script I’m working on with a partner. They liked it. I’m happy. I have to revise my weight loss goal I previously stated on this site. I think I’m going to surpass my lowest in mid march to late march instead of the end of February. We will see.
THIS JUST IN:
I think I just found and got a place. This guy in Glendale was looking for someone to rent out a room in house and he’s a drummer, and he likes cats. It was the first place I saw and I loved it but it was in Glendale and he was asking for my max. Well I called him on Tuesday and said I shouldn’t take it because of the price but I liked the place and he said okay but to call back if I can’t find anything. Then about an hour ago he called me and lowered his price. So I took it. I hate moving. I hate shopping, and this place was good and it only had one compromise (the location). This place has a washer and dryer, a backyard, and of course drums. It’s month to month, no security, no “pet” fee. I think I got a good deal. Cross your fingers for me.

a message to my reader (s)

2005-02-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

If you were unaware, I have changed my blog so anonymous people can comment to their hearts desire. So please. I'm lonely. :O)

A Fan Gone Mad

2005-02-02T13:22:00.000-08:00

Here are two reviews of the same movie by the same person.

Aliens Vs. Predator

THIS REVIEW IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN IT.

My mother told me if I can’t find something nice to say, say nothing at all.
That is all.

Aliens Vs. Predator

A REVIEW FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WASTED MONEY SEEING THIS PIECE OF CRAP.

I’m a fan of both of these franchises and even owned one of the graphic novels telling a similar story. I also avoided this movie in the theater because I heard how shitty it was. Well I made a good choice because if I paid for this movie I would feel cheated. I can’t think of a single redeeming aspect of this flick. It had every cliché in the book. The funny guy who establishes early on that he has kids, he might as well have had a line “I have kids so the audience will care when I die.” Well he didn’t say that because it didn’t happen. The death cough was also in there. Here is a plot device dumb people like to use. If they want to show a character is eventually going to die, have him/her cough.

Here is a sample scene:
DUDE: (cough, cough)
GIRL: Are you okay?
DUDE: I’ll be fine. Lets go do this one last job, then retire.

Now the acting was a pile of excrement. Granted the characters were paper thin before these people showed up on set but give me a break. The main woman, the tough black chick with a hidden heart, was the worst actress I’ve seen in a lead role in a very long time. The entire movie I sat there thinking, “This is there answer to a new Ripley?” Sigourney Weaver was a veteran stage actress and played Ripley very well. She cried but was strong, she kicked ass but missed her daughter, and she even grew to be part alien as the films progressed. This chick? As stiff and plastic as my desk. The relationship with her and the Predator which was taken from the comic books was down right hilarious.

I laughed several times at the poor writing, the poor set design, the poor directing, and the lame attempts to recreate the best parts of the previous movies. When I saw the hieroglyphic of the Predator and Alien fighting, I laughed out loud for like 30 seconds. I also liked the archeologist with the sexy stubble and bad Italian accent who could read fluent Aztec hieroglyphics without the aid of any reference book. ( I didn’t care when he died either) I also like how the story the hieroglyphics told ended with a complete annihilation of the race and temple but these people were standing in the temple reading about it (if everyone was dead, who wrote it?)

What made the previous aliens movies good was the characters. In the first one, all you needed was the dinner scene in the beginning to get a good grasp of their personalities and their relationship with one another. In the second we had that training period, and good actors. The third characters lacked but were still more dynamic than this piece of shit. The fourth had very colorful characters even though they had no real depth. The predator movies had a handful of interesting characters but the Aliens franchises were better.
This movie, AVP, was in development for like ten years. You would think they would have had a chance to write a good script, but no, it felt like they wrote it 2 weeks before production. “We need a love interest for the tough chick; um let’s make him oh, I dunno, stubbly.”
I can write more, but I should stop the madness has gone on long enough.
You can guess my recommendation.

Come to Pupa

2005-02-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

All though it’s not as obvious as in other members of the animal kingdom, but people go through all kinds of stages in their life where physical, habitual, emotional, and mental changes occur. There are the obvious ones that happen as children, the baby stage, puberty and adolescence. But once the human reaches the “adult stage” (which I think happens later than 50 years ago, but that’s another post) there are several other stages that may or may not happen depending on your life experience. It also depends on whether you accept change or at least not fear it.
I’m definitely going through one of these in between stages. I’m still the same old Mike but some subtle changes are in the process of happening that will hopefully change me for the better. It’s odd being in this stage. If there was a movie of my life, this point would be told in a montage. I wish I could just shed my old skin and come out new and improved Mike, but with us humans it’s not that easy, especially physical change. Mental changes are also tricky. I’ve thought for along time I need to put these changes into practice, but something kept me back. Well nothing’s standing in my way at the moment.
I wonder what the “new Mike” will be like. Quieter? Stronger? More assertive and decisive? Will I finally pick a hobby/future career to focus on? Will I find solace in an action I have yet to consider?
I hope there are a few curve balls life with toss at me during this stage, I want see if I can hit them.

My Name is Leo Hear Me Roar

2005-02-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

The Aviator

I read the script of this flick beforehand and I gotta tell you, I didn’t like it. So much airplane engineering speak, and the scenes seemed divided, this scene he’s crazy, next scene he’s an ass, next scene he’s crazy, next scene etc. But what ended up on screen was much better. I was enthralled even though I knew exactly what was going to happen, Leo did a good job, and compared to Scorsese’s last 2 hour 45 minute epic, this one moved along rather well. It didn’t feel long to me. He employed a lot of little technical nuances that made it very visually interesting, and there are some very enthralling scenes that made the film worth watching. I recommend to anyone with a large bladder.

Guy Movie Madness.

2005-01-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

Man on Fire

I feel strangely guilty over enjoying this movie. There wasn’t much to it, but I was actually sucked into the plot enough to care about the characters. I have a better idea for the end, but I won’t say it here, if your interested, call me. Tony Scott did a very good job making a simple revenge flick visually interesting and Dammit if Dakota fanning is cute as a button (like wanna give her a piggyback ride and roll down a hillside race with her cute, not the illegal cute). I also liked Christopher Walken’s character; he stretched for this role and played somebody who wasn’t creepy but warm and fun. My favorite part about this movie is that there is no romantic subplot. Denzel didn’t have some hooker he wanted to run away with or some immediate connection with a woman he helped save; just an innocent friendship with a little girl. Maybe I’m a sucker for fatherly dramas, but I really liked this flick. I recommend it to “men who want or already have lil’ people to take care of” and “the women who love them”.

Gangs of New York

This one is for the textbooks. People should be studying this film, and if there is any film god, they will be in the future. This was the second time I’ve seen this and granted the first half is a lil’ slow, but the implications, the subtext, the historical background, the social/political commentary, the allegorical like parallels to modern day make this movie to be put on a pedestal. Now this movie isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s pretty brutal. But some American lounge jockeys need to see it so they will realize their freedom and way of life in which they take for granted was built on blood and gore. ANYWAY, I’ll get off my soapbox. I was just trying to say that in a time where America as a concept gets defiled on a daily basis, sometimes you need a refresher course on why things were so good and some of it still is good. BACK TO THE MOVIE. Cameron Diaz was a poor choice, I think her performance made me not care about her character (but it could be other things). The film just on a production basis should be considered a work of art, from the sets, to the visual style, the acting (save for Ms. Diaz), writing, and save for that initial slowness, editing. I highly recommend. All films are imperfect; they are made by humans so you can expect that much. But I feel this one deserves the highest rating I can give.

Reviews 1.28.05

2005-01-28T15:18:00.000-08:00

Comedian

This documentary on Jerry Seinfeld’s comeback after trashing all his old jokes was mediocre at best. A. It felt long and it wasn’t even an hour and a half. B. A good bit of time was spent on this other comedian just starting and he was too obnoxious ambitious, too self involved, and too self degrading to be interesting. C. Too much time was spent on philosophizing about jokes and not enough jokes were told. I did like the choice to shoot it on shitty mini-dv, it added to the “reality” of it all (my “history of documentary” teacher from college would stab me if knew I just wrote that sentence. Sorry, Jim Lane doesn’t hurt me.). I only recommend this movie to people who want to be stand-up comedians or people who get a chubby over Seinfeld.

Garden State

Now I’ve seen this movie in the theaters and I also watched it earlier this week so this is a belated review. I have to admit, I think I liked it more the second time. The jokes weren’t better or anything but the heart was more apparent to me the second time. The first time I was a lil’ concerned over how much it related to the world I lived in. The actual plot has nothing to do with my life but the elements that the story was based on is very much “my generation” and it kinda freaked me out seeing so much of it on the big screen. He also stole (unknowingly) some of the character traits from a movie idea I’ve had for awhile, DAMN YOU ZACH BRAFF! Just kidding - I ain’t mad, he just beat me and it made me feel like I was on the right rack with that idea. It’s interesting when a movie is generational. If my parents saw that movie, they would be totally unimpressed and probably complain about the amount of drugs in it. To a certain extent, us young generations can watch old “generation defining” flicks and appreciate and enjoy them, but it doesn’t go the other way around. THAT LAST STATEMENT IS BASED ON GENERALIZATIONS SO BEWARE OF EXCEPTIONS. Back to the normal review type things, directed well, acted well, shot well, but all of those elements need to take into account that it’s very much and Indie movie and flashiness was not their intention. I look forward to Zach’s next project, hopefully he doesn’t take it from the mind probe he did to me last week. I recommend this to everyone but my parents.

Jeff Tweedy

2005-01-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

For a birthday present, a good friend got hold of a recording of Jeff Tweedy (of Wilco) playing a straight acoustic set and let me tell you, it's amazing. I can already tell it earned it's place in my heart. Oh and to the reader who wanted to know about the Ex, Um, it's probably unwise and unclassy for me to air her dirty laundry (and my emotional state) on this blog because she probably reads this and a couple of our mutual friends. The people who know about it, have probably heard enough already. And I do occasionally do it; it seeps out when I discuss other topics, you just gotta be a detective and put the clues together. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with talking about something I love, and that is movies. Escapism has it's advantages.

1.26.05 I've surpassed the hump of youth. I'm 26.

2005-01-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

At this time last year, I weighed 30 pounds more than I do today. That’s my birthday present to myself, and I know I’m gonna keep on going. The things I look forward to this year is finishing “Who’s Laughing Now”, my week at Yosemite, Coachella (I’m finally going this year, I already have tickets) and to see how I weigh in this time next year. What I’m looking forward to the most is the unexpected; what life will put on my plate without my help, or the chain of events that lead up to whatever will happen. Just thinking about it makes me happy I’m still young and anything can happen. I have a feeling my life will get better and better, and I'm just basing that on the trend of which my life has been progressing, since I've graduated college.

Biopic mania

2005-01-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

So I now have a thing against biopics. I’ve watched a good bit of them (Tis the season, Oscar season) and I’ve had an idea about a fake biopic so I studied the structure. This made me realize you can never be surprised by a biopic; they always have the same story. First the lead is a kid and has a traumatic childhood event, then they grow up and struggle with their field of study. They overcome it rather quickly, get a house, wife (if it’s a guy) , and other material things. Then they descend. They get addicted to some sort of drug, cheat on their wife (or if it’s a woman, her husband cheats on her) and either die or kick everything and get reborn. That’s it. If you have seen a bio-pic of a famous person that doesn’t have all of these traits, tell me, I want to see this movie.
Now knowing the formula, every biopic is pretty much ruined. Yeah sure, one is about a guy who likes planes whereas the other is about a blind blues guy, but it has the same friggin story. I brought this up to a coworker recently and he said, “Well , then doesn’t that mean that all of those things are universal truths of the human condition, and with success comes consequence?” Well I wasn’t sure what to say to that other than “So you say if I find myself addicted to drugs and cheating, I’m in the final act of my life?” Bummer.

Movies, Movies and More Movies

2005-01-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

Let’s go in order in which I saw them this weekend shall we?

Collateral

I have to admit, I enjoyed this flick. Tom cruise did a pretty good job, I don’t understand why everyone loves Jamie Foxx, (I was unimpressed with “Ray” as well). For the most part all the parts were in place, direction, the photography, the acting, and the writing save for a few clichés that I saw a mile away. A lot of things I thought might happen, happened before I expected and the suspense definitely had me. I recommend.

Rounders

Now I got this DVD for free, and a part of me has always wanted to see this flick since I’m an Ed Norton fan. Well, now I know why it’s taken me several years to see the flick. It pretty much blew. I can only take so much Card playing metaphors and hip lingo, and all the drama was synthetic and forced. The ending was mediocre and the macho egotism was kinda boring. The only good thing in the flick was the acting, but they didn’t have much to work with. There are a lot of now semi famous people in this movie in small roles. Famke Jansen, John Malkovich, and John Tuturro, all shine in what lil’ they were given. So unless you have a hard on for Matt Damon, I do not recommend.

Closer
SPOILER ALERT: I PLAN ON WRITING MORE OF A DISCUSSION WITH THIS REVIEW SO IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE, GO SEE IT THEN READ THIS.

So, if you know what’s going on with my life at the moment, you know that me going to see this movie shows I’m a glutton for punishment. This dissection of the emotions and actions involved with unhealthy relationships and infidelity was supremely acted save for Julia Roberts, but I’ve not liked her for years (she just isn’t a good actor). This was a weird movie for me to see; I’ve had half the conversations in this movie in the past three months, and imagined the others. I was surprisingly unemotional while watching it, but I couldn’t watch the kissing scenes and it did make me have my first dream about the break up, which wasn’t fun. I usually prefer for my dreams to be escapist, it was a lot like my waiting table dreams that still occasionally happen. I had a short discussion about Natalie Portman’s character with a friend of mine, because the movie ends on her which is an odd choice. He thought the end showed that she was this cold femme fatale and duped Jude law and company the entire movie. I saw it differently. The fact that she lied about her name, the fact that she broke up with Jude law so he wouldn’t hurt her again, and the last shot with her walking down the street as guys watch her go by was a sad scene to me. She was hiding behind her sexuality, lying to the masses that she was strong and confident, and the masses bought it. I was sure that she was the opposite. She was a broken person, hurt and weak, and lies to herself and others to pretend that she isn’t. This made me realize something. Not that I related to her character in ANY WAY, but I realized that I myself am a broken person at the moment-- or at least have some broken parts. Now relationships with a broken person are not fruitful, they have unhealthy roots and they never get better. We don’t make good bedfellows. Now I don’t know when I’ll be fixed, it seems to me that what will fix me is a relationship, but to get a relationship I have to have self-esteem and confidence and that is what’s broken. So in order to get a girl, I have to lie and you know what? I’m just not in a lying mood.
So I recommend this movie, but don’t take a date. As I was leaving the theater I overheard the couple next to me. She said something like, “that was such a serious movie” and the smarmy guy with his arm around her said “I like serious movies”, in this I-need-to-prove-something-to-you tone. Well dude, if I saw through your ego statement enough to make me smile, she wasn’t impressed. Do some research on the movie you take a date to, buddy. I couldn’t imagine a worse date movie; well maybe, “Brown Bunny”.

Birthday Woes

2005-01-21T17:13:00.000-08:00

So, next Wednesday is my birthday, and I’m throwing a lil’ party tomorrow at the abode with a buddy of mine (whose birthday is tomorrow). I hope all of you readers that were invited are coming, it would make me happy. For those of you not invited, it’s probably because I don’t know you therefore you shouldn’t be hurt by me not inviting you. (Sticks out tongue). My worry is since I’m doing something tomorrow, what the hell am I going to do Wednesday? I don’t like it when people drag me out twice for their birthday, so I can’t expect that of people. I usually have a quiet dinner with family or with my ex, but since she’s my ex now, that ain’t happening.
So what is a man to do?
Well, a friend of mine unknowingly sent me some advice in a forwarded email where it said. “You have to get used to people not making a fuss over your birthday and that happens around age 11.” And I half agree. Growing up in a house where birthdays – and pretty much any other holiday—was a big deal so I’m used to the pampering and even typing that phrase turns my stomach. This goes along with my love/hate relationship with growing up in an upper middle class household where my parents loved and probably spoiled me too much. Every year it’s a lil’ embarrassing when I talk to my friends about their Christmas haul and I tell my list, then they say about half as much. I don’t feel like a “better” person or even a more “advantaged” person then my friends but I can sense the jealousy/ annoyance even over the phone. My ex was even pissed at my Mom because she got me what I wanted and didn’t leave anything for her to get. Apparently it was a big deal, and I couldn’t stand it. I don’t even tell people the full load. I don’t like for my friends to think even the remote possibility that I consider myself on a higher standing, simply because it’s not true. But what do I do? Take it back? Sell the shit? The shit is nice. I like the shit. I could really use the shit.
So this birthday, I don’t want to do anything - the party is enough. I’ll go see a movie by myself, maybe grab a burrito, I don’t know. Something inside me wants to do something, but I should hold back that urge and humble myself. No one likes a show off, or a prima donna. I don’t think I’m a prima donna, but I don’t even want people to have the tiniest inkling that I may consider myself worthy of two birthday parties. There is a fine line between high self-esteem and pride. I never want to cross it.

A Note About My Reviews.

2005-01-20T15:33:00.000-08:00

I feel I need to explain something about my reviews. Now I watch a ton of movies, and rarely do I not watch a movie because the plot doesn’t interest me. I can pretty much classify the only plots I don’t enjoy are the kind of plots in English Period Pieces (my sister will kill me for saying that) and there are a few exceptions to that rule. This is why I don’t mention plot’s in my review. I have the idea that it doesn’t matter what the movie is about as long as the story is told well. The Village was an interesting story idea but I feel it could have been told better (mostly in the writing), but that movie is also growing on me as I think about it. This is also a good review because I am thinking about it afterwards, compared to Ocean’s Twelve where I haven’t had a second thought about that movie since I saw it other than buying the soundtrack.
I had an argument once about a flick called “Brown Bunny” because I thought it was bad but I had several discussions about it afterwards so, under the above logic, it was good. This is not true. That movie scarred me. The grossly excessive male egotism in that movie made me feel bad to be a man. I might as well been watching ten guys gangbang one tied up woman while they call her names. When the writer/director/producer/lead actor/production designer (etc. etc.) whipped his gianormous cock out of his onscreen girlfriend’s mouth after she swallowed his cum and called her a f**king whore, that scene will forever be stained in my mind as the pinnacle example of the kind of man I don’t want to be (and I’m not close to being).
It affected me on such a visceral level that I would think about the movie several days afterwards and get sad/angry and I just wanted to have never experienced it. (A similar reaction to a situation I’m in now) It also affected my actions; for months afterwards I would go to parties and as soon as I couldn’t find my girlfriend I was scared she was being raped by several men in another room (happened in the movie). Now If I was sober at parties I could easily pass this idea off as ludicrous (or at least highly doubtful), but alcohol does strange things to the mind. I could very easily make several jabs at my ex right now but I’m not going to. This is not the reactions to a good movie.
I just got way off point. What I’m trying to say is that as long as the story is told well a movie is worth seeing save for a few examples (see rant above). So I leave it out, the story is the most advertised of a movie (except for when the stars are more important than the story and I don’t usually suggest those kinds of movies) so you don’t need me to tell you what “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” is about. I also believe the less you know about the plot before seeing the movie the better.
What’s the point of watching a movie where you know the beginning, middle and climax before going to see it? I could go off on another tangent about movie trailers right now, but that’ll make this post too long (as if it already wasn’t). Let’s just say that if you see a trailer and there are scenes in it from minute 90 and past, or the voiceover narration explains the plot up till the climax, don’t go see it, it has too little of a plot and it won’t be worth watching. Then again all of these rules are broken, and I will remind you when it happens, because rules are meant to be broken. Hell, I love “Happy Gilmore” and the plot of that movie is a steaming pile of dog crap.
I’ll end on the dog crap note, that’s usually where I like to leave things. Thanks for listening.

A Personal Victory and a review

2005-01-19T10:07:00.000-08:00

Last night I discovered something. I now weigh less than I have since my college graduation. That’s my lowest in two and a half years. It’s not over, I plan on reaching or surpassing my lowest weight (in my teenage/adult life) by the end of next month, and it will happen. Wish me luck.

The Village
This sleepy period piece made by the “master” of “suspense” who brought us The Sixth Sense was less than desired. Now I expected it to be less than top notch. I really liked The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, but Signs was laughable, or at least the end was. This one left me bored most of the time. I have no problem with a slow paced movie, but I usually like one with stuff like interesting characters and intrigue. Yes, I see the social commentary in the movie, but that subtext couldn’t have hit me over the head harder. Again, The Sixth Sense’s subtext was much more interesting and hidden; hell, I needed a film teacher to tell to me. I’m trying to be very weary of giving anything away because if you actually are going to see this movie, you should at least not know the plot twists, because it’s the only reason to see it (and they aren’t that great). I personally think advertising a movie with a twist ending (in which this film very much did) ruins the entire idea of having a twist ending. I think M. Night (yes we are on the first name basis thank you very much) should not have a twist in his next flick and that in its self would be surprising. Did I just confuse you? Sorry. Well technical wise, The actors are good, Michael Pitt of The Dreamers fame has a bit part in this movie for some reason, William Hurt kicks ass as always and the newcomer (sorta) Bryce Dallas Howard is decent (for a person playing a blind person, that you don’t realize is blind for the first scene or two she is in, but I think that’s the directors fault). It’s a gorgeous movie shot by Roger Deakins, a living master in my opinion, and I love M. Night’s wide open master with no cut aways style of shooting, it reminds me of Woody Allen’s style. So this is a mixed review, I would recommend this flick with reservations. Just be aware of the slow pace and flawed script, let’s hope Nighty Night does a better job on the next one.

I'm in a Glass Case of Emotion!

2005-01-18T11:48:00.000-08:00

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Now I saw this in the theatre and loved it. I’m a big Will Ferrell fan giggled myself silly seeing it the first time. Now last night I watched it at home with a friend and the replay value wasn’t as good as I hoped. I would say a good 50% less laugh/per minute ratio.
Some of the best jokes hold up but the iffy ones and the ones that fell flat the first time were barely a smirk. But of course it might have been my mood. There were a couple of scenes added to the DVD to make it “unrated” but don’t get to excited fellow pervs, it was just a couple cuss words and the slightest glimpse of the side of Christina Applegate’s right boob. The concept of the “unrated” versions of teen comedies and etc are the biggest scam on the poor perverted and teenage boys(who are also perverted by nature). 99% of the time the “extra” “wild” content is barely worth watching whatever lame movie it’s been tacked onto so do yourself a favor boys, rent real soft core, you’ll be happier. Of course I didn’t expect this film to be raunchy all of the sudden, much less have nudity but buyers beware. Overall I still recommend this movie, because watching it the first time was one of the best times I had in the theater this summer. You might not want to buy it, unless you want the extra “movie” that comes with the special edition that I also watched and will review, right now.

Wake Up, Ron Burgundy.

This is the “movie” for the big fans of the flick above, but I have a hard time actually calling it a separate movie. It was put together from deleted scenes and alternate takes shot while making the movie above. So, because of this the plot is barely there. My guess is that the “plot” in this movie was originally the main plot of above but didn’t test well so they shot another ending and beefed up the “romantic” sub plot. So the beginning of this “movie” is all alternate takes and other gags cut out of scenes that are in the original loosely linked together by rather funny self aware narration. Then the sub plot comes in about these dumb bank robbers and their antics. The scenes they put back into the “unrated “ version are in this “movie” too and a bunch of other pretty funny bits they had to cut out I’m sure for time and other mentioning of the deleted sub plot. There are a couple scenes that make the flick worth sitting through, but I’m curious if the cheap tricks employed by the “movie” actually would trick any viewer that this is a completely different movie. I’m not sure it’s intended too.

2005-01-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

So tell me if this is lame but I’m going to give a lil’ review of every movie I see on this blog in-between other posts.

Maria Full of Grace
I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It’s simple, quiet, emotional and suspenseful. It was shot well, directed well, acted well, written well (structurally anyway, I can’t judge the dialogue because it’s in a different language). Don’t see this movie for a laugh but be prepared to be sucked into the suspense of the movie even though the action is very simple. And the actress who plays Maria, she has an amazing natural beauty. She really was a Latin version of a girl I had a crush on in high school so I may have a biased opinion. I highly recommend.

Ocean’s Twelve
During Oscar season, I was weary of this star extravaganza, but I felt compelled to see this movie considering it was directed by a favorite of mine, Steven Soderbergh, and it was edited on the same floor I work on. (The Steven Soderbergh and Brad Pitt sightings were abundant this fall.) So my low expectations proved beneficial since I rather enjoyed this flick. Craftsmanship wise, this film was top notch. Its shot, edited, and directed well. The acting wasn’t spectacular but I think the parts weren’t too deep to begin with. There is a moment with Catherine Zeta Jones that I actually felt a little touched, which is surprising because mostly Catherine Zeta Jones touches me other ways. So if heist movies aren’t your thing, then get the soundtrack because it simply kicks ass. Dave Holmes is a one funky m*tha-f**ka and this soundtrack could make bed-ridden deaf mongoloids to get up and dance. So if you want to turn off your mind, laugh and tap your feet in the theater, go see this move before it gets replaced by some throw away January release.

Thoughts and Lists

2005-01-14T15:53:00.000-08:00

My recent Christmas present of “Found Magazine” have solidified my ideas of what is good writing. I think about these kinds of things a lot. These “found” pieces of paper of lists, notes, letters and emails have more heart in them than some of the books written by very famous writers, which tells me one thing. Verbosity and intelligence in writing only takes you so far, but true human emotion and thought can be expressed effectively by the simplest writer. This is why I like, and I write in a conversational tone.
When it comes to the art form of Film, this still holds true, but in a skewed way. I believe a good juxtaposition of reality and fantasy in film is important. The films of the 70’s experimented in Gritty reality, and I’ve seen a good bit of examples, and I think all though interesting, there is a lack of magic that makes these movies my favorite. I watched a movie last night “Spun” which I don’t recommend. This films mixture is off. There is gritty reality in abundance but it’s shot/edited very stylistically which is supposed to make you think you’re on speed (it kind of works). This mixture does not provide the heart and that essence of humanity needed to be considered a good movie (of course I think the lame plot and boring main character had something to do with it as well).
The movie in which I think has the perfect mix is “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. Granted it’s written by a genius, but the plot is fantastical, the humans and emotions are gritty and real and it’s shot with a good mixture of the two.
Of course I think about these things in terms in films, but I believe it stretches onto the written form. I believe this to be true even the burgeoning world of “blogs” where as the journal is the most popular form. As long as it shows an emotion, an essence of humanity, I can read it with interest. Of course people think it’ll be interesting if they explain their bland day to day life (we all have it, don’t deny it) but I think in the nature of “found magazine” lists, notes, love letters, and emails are interesting and at some points heartbreaking.

New Years Resolutions
The ever present and ultimate cliché of losing weight and getting in shape. I bank on losing at least 30 lbs by my summer hiatus.
Hike the Half dome in Yosemite( during my summer hiatus)
Finishing two screenplays
Joining an indie rock band.
I am not planning on looking for love this year, but I will not be adverse to it if it finds me.
Practice my bass, ( I would be a drummer in the band)
Figure out exactly what I’m going to use this blog for.
Give up several foods that are detrimental to my health (see number 1)
Treat my friends and family with love and respect (a continuation of a resolution I made when I was 5 years old.)
Attain spiritual enlightenment ( make take longer than a year)

My stab at poetry

2005-01-13T14:18:00.000-08:00

So in this emotional time I took a stab at poetry, and I like this, I like the rhythm to it. I don't think I'm this amazing spoken word artist now or anything, but well, we'll see.
So sit back imagine some scruffy guy in trendy "urban" clothes in front of some people at a coffee house reading this with intensity and spitting a lil' too much while he talks.

I'm sick of Being Good
By Michael Roland (nice touch eh?)

I’m sick of being good.
I can’t stand it.
It’s easy for a recluse to just do something and everyone just forgives them, but if your good? You hold back. You don’t fly off the fucking handle. You’re good. But what then?
These good people, who are considerate, who are respectful, who are dignified can’t show an emotion? They can’t vent? They can’t embrace what it is to be human?
Well I ‘m sick of it. I love being human.
I’m sick of being good.
They can just fuck off. I want to tell them everything. Open it all up. Let them fucking see. They have to see, they need to know.
Think of it this way. Everyone will know the truth.
You know what’s so good about being good? You know the truth. All those times where the ugliness came out -- we were there. But we were good. We denied ourselves from being irrational therefore our minds where less cloudy .We were lucid, but those bad people, they were off the hook. They don’t remember that night, it was a haze, I was drunk, I was stoned, I was temporarily insane. But us? Us good people? We were lucid.
The rage was quenched.
We listened. We paid attention. We know the truth. You see truth is what really happens, but of course you can always say truth can only be perceived through a human so it’s ultimately infallible. The more the human is there, the more emotional, the more “BAD”, the less they perceive. But the good? Yeah sure, the good is holding back an emotion but he’s under control. They perceive through less humanity. So we know the truth.
People need to know the truth, because the truth shall set us free, or so they say.
Privacy is for the scared.
For the truth is often scary. It shows us who we really are, and we’re not sure we want other people –even ourselves-- to see what we really are. You know why? Because then we would know we are all the same. And that frightens a lot of people. All of us have the same impulses, the same feelings, the same regrets, the same emotions, and we like those things. Those are us. We like it that way. If that was everyone, we wouldn’t be special. I hate to say it. But whether you act on it or not, whether you’re good or bad? We all have the same make up. Good people understand bad people and vice versa. They just don’t want to be the other. Well, sometimes. Because, I’m sick of being good.
I want to tell the truth and not remember when I do it. I want to shout at everyone, fly off the handle, ignore all the rules, fuck with people’s minds, act with my dick, and you know what? It’ll feel great.
But of course, when that happens, you end up hurting people, and that’s just not human.
Often those people are people you love, the people you hold onto. Or at least want to hold onto. Because when you hurt those people, they don’t want to hold onto you anymore. Now you fucked up.
Hey, I’m only human. Can you forgive me? Time heals all wounds. Can you forgive me, in time? You’re a good person. You will forgive me for being human. You’re a good person.
Well, I’m sick of being good.

2005-01-11T14:20:00.000-08:00

This Post is directly related to the last one. I won't talk your ear off, but just to post two song's lyrics that I find appropriate, even if it's just figurative. I can only hope this is my last post about alisa. Lets leave it as this is the only one planned.

Rear View Mirror by Pearl Jam

I took a drive today
Time to emancipate
I guess it was the beatings made me wise
But I'm not about to give thanks, or apologize
I couldn't breathe, holdin' me down
Hand on my face, pushed to the ground
Enmity gauged, united by fear
S'pose to endure what I could not forgive...

I seem to look away
Wounds in the mirror waved
It wasn't my surface most defiled
Head at your feet, fool to your crown
Fist on my plate, swallowed it down
Enmity gauged, united by fear
Tried to endure what I could not forgive
Saw things (4x)
Clearer (2x)
Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror...

I gather speed from you fucking with me
Once and for all I'm far away
I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey...
Saw things so much clearer}Once you, once you... } (3x)Rearview mirror }
Saw things so much clearerOnce you...oh yeah...

Glory and Consequence by Ben Harper

I'm more afraid of living
than I am scared to die
I'm more afraid of falling
than I am of flying high

Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence

I'm more afraid of loving
than I am of being scorned
but I will keep on trying
though I have been forewarned

Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence

I would rather me be lonely
and you have someone to hold
I'm not as scared of dying
as I am of growing old.

Every moral has a story
every story has an end
every battle has its glory
and its consequence

Thank you very much.

Am I the Only One Who Doesn’t Like it When Cliché’s are True?

2005-01-05T15:05:00.000-08:00

So 2004 is over, and it’s been a wild ride let me tell you.
Let’s go with the positive things first.
-I’ve lost 20 pounds and rekindled my love for the outdoors (they are related).
-I’ve kept a good paying job for over a year which is good since I can pay my bills, thank you very much Eric smith. Damn, I just can’t thank that guy enough.
- I finished a screenplay and I’m a good amount into a second one. This is very key in my happiness, I wish I worked faster but I at least am working. I’m very proud of “Snowblind”, and “Who’s Laughing Now?” will be great.
-I’ve found two amazing bands; “Broken Social Scene” and “Iron and Wine”. I hope to listen to both for years to come.
- I got an Ipod for Christmas. I’ve had the thing for a week and I’m convinced it will change the way I listen to music.
-I’m committed to an exercise regiment which has built confidence, strength, sex appeal and well, muscles.
And now for the negative things.
-2004 was my last year with Alisa. It went sour with us and on Jan 2nd we broke up. This is both negative and positive seeing as the relationship was sour so it’s good its over, but that last year was rough on both of us. She will agree.

This is the only year there I actually feel a chapter ending and a new one beginning. The cliché’s are true. About heartbreak, about new years, about relationships, about friendships, about it all. It’s weird, I don’t like it. I guess I like to think the things that happen in my life are only specific to me but in reality they are a part of the long lists of cliché’s about the human condition. This is both comforting and unsettling. What also unsettles me is that I’m almost happy it happened to me because something actually happened.
I heard an anecdote that I can’t attribute to a specific person. But a writer was walking down a street one day and a car hit him and his first words afterwards were “Finally something happened to me”. We writers are so concerned with recreating the human condition we end up not living our own life and frankly it sucks. When it actually happens it shocks us and we almost savor the pain so we can learn from it. That whole “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger” shit. Well that works double for us writers (wannabe writers anyway). When Love happened to me I finally understood all the songs, all the romantic comedies, all that cheesy sentiment. When the love went sour and finally ended, I now understand (and feel) all the songs, the dramas, the lame cliché’s about bitterness. Of course, I’m avoiding some of the stuff because it hurts too much (Death Cab for Cutie, The Killers, and the movie “Closer” to just name a few). What surprised me is the emotional link I found with old soul music, Otis Redding, Bill Withers, and dusty Springfield speak to me about heartbreak and explain what I feel. Oh, And Wilco (but they aren’t soul).
Well now that I’ve joined a part of the Human race that’s been heartbroken and not sure if they’ll be able to truly let somebody in, it’s both horrifying and comforting. Especially since the cliché is that you initially think that, then time passes, you meet someone else, and fall in love again and say to yourself “ That happened to me when I was with What’s her face.” Maybe Alisa and I can be friends again someday; she says I was her best friend. Only time will tell. Meanwhile, I feel a strong urge for evil things to happen to her, but feel bad when they do.
“Fucking heart, Can’t you just make up your mind?!”
I’m pretty sure there’s a song about that. Any of you readers know that one?

And here’s another question for you 5-10 people reading, Do you have a song/book/movie that helped you through a time like this? Let’s see if we come up with the same thing.

It's over

2005-01-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

I broke up with alisa. This blog was an attempt to show her that I loved her and she should love me but I guess you can't do that. Oh well I can go on with my life now and actually be happy.

This is for you, Jerkules!

2004-12-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

Sam bush aka "Iron and Wine" is a God among men. Last night's concert was amazing especially considering it was one guy with an acoustic guitar if front of a large audience. Sir, I salute you.

Falluja.

2004-11-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

This is true.

I got a call from my Mom today who is rather active in the hometown church. She was mailing packages to the troops overseas for Christmas when she came across a familiar name. To check her intuition, she calls a friend and its true, a guy I grew upwith, Clayton, is a SGT. stationed in Falluja. So she calls me and tells me, gives me his address, reminisces about him and leaves me be to continue cleaning my apartment. I instead break out and cry.

But why?

Clayton isn’t dead. He wasn’t even a good friend. Just somebody I knew since grade school considering he lived 50 feet away. We were friends at certain points of growing up, but mostly just friendly acquaintances who get on each others nerves every once and a while. I mean this isn’t even a real surprise to me, If you knew Clayton, you would know from age 10 that he loved all things army related. His Dad was in Vietnam and came back a militant Buddhist (explain that one). Clayton was in boy scouts, attained Eagle Scout; and even was in a search and rescue unit in high school. So why was I so emotional over the news that he was infantry SGT.

I think it was because I considered him dead as soon as I heard it, even though if there were a capable soldier it would be Clayton. But now thinking about it with a clearer mind, I think it was bigger than that.

I don’t believe we should be in Iraq. I think Bush and his cronies are using the lives of the people we grew up with to make money and inflate their ego. This terrorist reasoning is bullshit. I love America and it sickens me that Bush is our Leader. I know Clayton believes in what he is doing. I haven’t talked to him, I just know the man. If he didn’t believe it he wouldn’t be there, well I want to think so anyway. It would make me feel better that at least he thinks he’s putting his life in danger for a good reason.

I don’t.

I’m going to write him. I’m not going to belittle what he is doing, I’m not going to stand on a soapbox, but I expect if he writes me back he will. I’ll reminisce, tell him what I’ve been doing these days, and tell him I’m sure I’ll see him again - Even though that’s not true. I’m not sure he’s coming back. I have faith in his abilities, and hope to God he comes back.

Rainy day Woman

2004-10-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

It is raining in LA today, and for that I am happy. If only the weather patterns were normal, then maybe I would feel like home. I should feel at home here. Today I talked to my boss, (well its my boss's boss's boss) and I mentioned I went to Emerson College and she said "Oh, you went to Show-business College" and I agreed. This would insinuate that I feel comfortable in this place, but that is not true. When I see men grocery shopping with make-up on, it alienates me. How could I be buying the same organic pepper jack cheese from a guy who spends more time getting ready then I spend eating in a day.
I just heard a coworker describe the light drizzle as "pouring", I laugh at him. I remember one day at university of Maryland (my first college) where it rained 10 days in a row, and I had to walk to class in seven of them, very fun. My second college - my second home, was Boston and rain was quite normal, as well as gloominess, snow, and hail. I hated it at the time but I miss it now. I wonder if the gloomy post is because of the weather. If you personified Los Angeles, you would not like him/her as a person. Always smiling, always smoking, always bright and flashy with a nice car and trendy music and shirts. You would look at him/her and with disgust. "Aren't you ever sad, tired, moody? "Then he would retort "About twice a year, and for about a week at a time, babe." I go through a funk daily, I even have a name for it, its my 3 o'clock lull. It's when all the caffeine leaves my body, and my body is busy digesting lunch. If only I could be a screenwriter somewhere else.
When I gave my first script to my only contact she called it "indie" in a negative connotation. What's wrong with that, I like "Indie" films. They have an energy, a humanity that Hollywood blockbusters dreadfully lack. I admit I love a good blockbuster, but most of the time it's because they share that same humanity.
I need to workout tonight, I was seriously bad this weekend (one , two, three, meals consisted of pizza and two of them also had beer involved) My body was made for more physical ways. Maybe its my redneck past talking about I'm always happier in nature, Not necessarily doing physical activity. I admit it. I was a lazy child, a lazy young adult, and a lazy teenager, but a now reformed person, trying to mend my lazy ways but occasionally failing. I at least I'm not like friends I know at home who dropped out of college and still live with their parents. I'm camping again this weekend, with friends this time. Maybe I'll run away and live in the woods by myself, hunting and gathering. Yeah right, I'd miss the music and movies I've come to love so much. Maybe I'll make movies about men reverting to nature. That'll be real fun. Then I'll just pretend I'm a mountain man. Till then, I'll have rainy day dreams about it.

Sunday morning

2004-10-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of posts, my job has been rather busy.

I woke up Sunday with the fox waiting by my extinguished campfire. So I named him, Stanley. He wanted more food but I wasn't eating meat this morning, but he's an animal, he'll eat anything right? I'm feel inclined to share but I did only pack for one. Anyway, I gave him some of my eggs, but I could tell he wasn't satisfied. You know, you can tell a fox that's all I can give, but for some reason, I don't think its gets the message.
I packed up camp beforehand so I could just head home after coming back. So I went hiking and Stanley followed me. Now it's awfully mountainous up there in the mountains, ranging from 6500-7700 ft. Depending where your at. I decided to take a trail that had a "difficult" rating but since it was only 2.5 miles, I could do it and be ready to leave by the afternoon. The trail I was very steep but it was worth all the heavy breathing and sweat. I got up to the top and there were these tall pile of rocks that could be climbed with relative ease. Unless of course, your me.

Stanley didn't follow me , and about halfway up, I broke my ankle. I lost my footing and slipped down this jagged rock, fell on my left foot wrong and got a bunch of bruises. I guess this is why you go with friends, cause right then, I was fucked. I left my cell in the car (never there when you need it, its only there when that annoying friend thinks you need to know in great detail about his break up with his girlfriend of a whole week) So I sat there, and yelled for help. I couldn't walk on the thing, and I haven't perfected one-legged rock climbing so I just had to wait. Luckily I had plenty of water, I was in a crevice so the sun was baring down on me, but it got cold as the sun went down. I guess I picked the wrong weekend to climb because I didn't hear a peep of someone else on this trail.

I never thought I would eat jerky for dinner, but let me tell you, very satisfying (not really). I had some pot on me but I didn't want to provoke hunger. I did get to stare at the stars and slept horrible. Have you tried to sleep on a cold rock in shorts? So I spent Monday, yelping for help, I was hoping the camp ranger notice my car was sitting next to the campsite I only paid for two nights and call a search party, and they might've but they didn't fnd me. Out of boredom, that night I smoked and sang songs. It did help me sleep, a little. On Tues, I was hungry and sick of sitting on the very cold rock so I proceeded to slide down the rocks on my ass, and gently dropping on to one foot. This was not my most graceful moment, but I did get down. I then crawled down the trail, because each step I made on my ankle sent a searing pain up through my leg into my ass and up my spine. 2/3's of the way down I found a stick long enough for me to lean on so it can act like a crutch.

I hobbled back to the camp and straight to the ranger station. No one was there, !Great! And just for that, I raided there fridge. Nothing says lovin like someone else's club sandwich. So they eventually showed up and I yelled at them and he was sorry. They took me to the hospital where I stayed for a day for dehydration and they casted up my leg. The ranger took me back to my car and I came home Wednesday night.

As bad as that sounds, I didn't hate it. It proved to me that I can deal with a situation, I never lost my cool, thought I was going to die, or give up. I went that extra mile you know. I probably should have gotten off those rocks earlier but how was I supposed to know I wasn't at a very popular trail? I proved something to myself, and I'm proud.

Best camping trip ever.

2004-10-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I just came back about an hour ago. That's right. I went camping in the san bernadino mountains and ended up being stuck there till tonight. I might have lost my job, I almost lost my life and my life will forever be different.

I did as planned. I left Friday night and set up camp, charred some meat, smoked a jay and stared at the stars. I went to bed and woke up bright and early cause it got hot. Saturday, went well. I hiked about 15 miles up and down hills, climbing rocks, taking breaks, I have some great pictures, well I had some great pictures. Well I was trying to get to the valley of enchantment, its supposed to be beautiful (shock!) but I kinda got lost. By 5 pm I was supposed to be on my way back, but from my calculations I was about 10 miles from my camp. 10 miles is a lot. Especially since its mountainous. I was trekking back when I realized I had doubled back and was going the wrong direction. Now this sucks cause the sun was going down. Every mountain out there looks the same, you know? So I turned around but went up and down the mountains again. This was starting to wear thin. So I got to a stream which I followed to my campsite at 7 pm, and the sun was almost completely down. I had about 5-6 miles left to go. And I had to stop, I know, it was stupid, but I needed a break. 5 minutes, I told myself. So I sat next to the stream and zoned out, only to be approached by a fox.
I'm serious, a fox. It walked right up to me, sat next to me, and started drinking from the stream. So I was real quiet, and a watched him. When he finished he made eye contact with me, and then left up stream. I took the hint and followed him. Now I wasn't on drugs at the time but I swear I communicated with this fox in some weird animal level. Well the darkness consumed the mountains, and I barely could see 10 feet in front of me. So I stayed behind the fox and made sure the stream (of which I could only hear not see) was to my right. When the trail (sort of) strayed from the stream the fox strayed as well, so I kept with him. He brought me back to my campsite, seriously. He even took me an easier path then when I left. He sat next to my site, so I had to thank him is some way. I started a fire ( grilled two steaks) and shared my food with my guide animal. When I handed him the steak, he took it and disappeared into the forest. So I smoked a jay, stared at the stars and went to bed.
Sunday, I wasn't so lucky. That day, a day hike turned into a three day adventure.
More tomorrow,

Mike

I'm going to do it.

2004-10-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

Last night while snacking on Peanut butter and marshmallows and watching the debates, I came to a conclusion. Its' actually it's more like an ultimatum to myself. This weekend I'm going hiking by myself, a physical challenge if you will. I need the self-esteem boost. Well, I tried to get brian to go, but he says he has a date, and didn't tell me who with. That bitch. Well I don't need him. And it will be more introspective personal victory if I do it myself. I'm heading out after work, setting up camp during the magic hour, sitting back, cooking some meat over the fire, then smoke a lil and look at the stars. Tomorrow will be a day long hike, with more of the same for the night. then sunday I'll pack it up, put it all in the car, and do another short hike before going home. It'll be great. and I'll feel proud of myself.

I told this to my pal Reagan and she thinks I'm nuts, that's okay, 'cause I think she's a slut. Just joking reg-digly-agun. You're not a slut, but you might not want to make out with a guy at every party you go to. I mean that guy at the last one had hair, ...everywhere. More than me. For people who don't know me, that's saying a lot. Well, don't worry about me reagan, I'll be fine. Then maybe I'll have enough balls when I get back to ask out your friend. I know you said Alisa isn't my type - but I don't care. I'll call her, eventually.

So wish me luck on my adventures, I'll tell you about them when I come back.

Mike

Chance meetings and beer nuts

2004-09-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

I saw her again last night, quite on accident, actually. Brian and I (the only single guys left in my gigantic group of 5 guy friends) made Wednesdays our night to go out to bars and pick up chicks. This of course, is never the case. The past 4 Wednesdays, we say we are going to get one drink, nurse it, and hit on girls. BUT what actually happens is we both end up having 3 or four whiskey on the rocks, then Brian hits on some 35 year old, swings and misses while I watch and laugh then profess that we will never screw up like that again.
Last night, this was not the case. We both got our drinks, me a wild turkey on the rocks (just get down right to it, is my motto) and a Guinness Pint for Brian (he likes to think he's Irish, but he's not), and we sat at the bar nursing them till the place gets crowded. Well about half way through the second wild turkey, a woman at the age of 45 (ish) walked in the bar with a low cut tank top (bad idea) and a monkey. I shit you not. She was touring bars to get people to sign a petition fighting the recent ban on lap dancing in the state of California. Don't ask me why she had a monkey, but it worked. Every person in that bar signed the petition. Anyway, so I was feeding the monkey beer nuts and he was picking his nose when I saw her. Alisa had been at the bar. What a great coincidence huh, I mean I know this bar is in close proximity to her apartment (.4 miles away, but who's counting) but who knew she was going to be there on a Wednesday.

Now Brian knows I like her. We've had conversations. So I point her out in the bar and he pushed me to actually hit-on a girl once in the first month of our babe hunts ( too misogynist?). But I couldn't, too spontaneous. I don't work like that, but Brian wouldn't listen to me, so he nudged me, verbally and physically until I grew some balls. So I stood up from my bar stool started going towards the siren when the monkey spilled a beer on me. Fucking monkey. I mean come on, I love monkeys but THEY DON'T BELONG IN PLACES WHERE DRINKS ARE SERVED. Well, of course I couldn't talk to her now. I had cheap beer on my pants. Lots of it. So I left. Brian stayed. Apparently the monkey pulled off the top of his female keeper after I left. Shucks. I missed it. From now on, I'm going to have a opening line planned so I won't hesitate talking to her again.

More later,
Mike.

So It Begins.

2004-09-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

My name is Mike, and this is the beginning of my dairy Blog. I'm 25, I live in LA, and I work on the WB lot, it may sound glamorous but trust me - it isn't. I work in post production, so that means I work with a bunch introverted dorks - but that's okay, because I'm an introverted dork. Now according to my girl friends (when I say girl friends I mean girls who I hang out with, not sleep with) they say I'm a hottie, but of course they won't hook up with me. IT would Ruin our friendship! Whatever.
So despite my introversion I still have a decent social life. I'm in a writing group with my friends Giuseppe, Brian, Andrea and tom, and we occasionally go out to bars - dive bars mind you, I can't afford cool bars since none of us actually get paid to write. I have four male friends and Matt is on the other side of the country shooting a TV show, Tom is always working, and Giuseppe is always with his girlfriend Lisa. Other than that I hang out with Reagan, Renee, Marin, Vanessa, lisa, Ashley, Nicole, and Diana. If you didn't notice I hang out with a lot of women - which does wonders to my masculinity. I wish that wasn't true, because there is this girl, I mean woman, and she is a vision.

Her name is Alisa, and - I know this sounds all high school- but she doesn't know I'm alive. Not really. She is beautiful, she smells great, and she is so cool. She dances at parties, at everyone of them and she is amazing at it. She's best friends with Reagan so she's at every party I go to but she's way out of my league. She knows my name, kinda, last time I talked to her, she called me Mark. It was at Tom's who is roommates with Vanessa and Marin, and they always throw big parties. I was standing next to the fridge nursing a bud light ( someone stole my whiskey - I hate bud light) when she came over to the fridge. She was a lil' sweaty (sexy sweaty, not stinky sweaty) and probably thirsty, because she was getting a beer. Here is a transcript of our conversation.
ME: Um, Hi.
HER: Hi.
ME: There's nothing good in there. Just bud light. I Hate Bud light.
HER: (fake laugh)
ME: (awkwardly staring at her breasts)
HER: (takes out beer) Have you seen Reagan anywhere?
ME: No.
HER: While if you see her, Tell her I wanna go home.
ME: Oh why? The party is still kickin'. (Kickin? What was I thinkin'?)
HER: I gotta wake up early and help a friend move.
ME: Sounds fun. (I'm suave)
HER: It sucks cause she totally doesn't need me to help, she just wants "support".
ME: bummer. ( that's right. I say bummer.)
HER: Anyway, tell Reagan to find me.
ME: no prob. ( I actually said "prob.")
HER: thanks Mark.

Man, I'd be pissed if she wasn't so hot. Oh well. I'll ask her out eventually. But I have to figure out where we should go first, It has to be perfect. Yeah, that's the reason why I haven't asked her out. Not because I'm pathetic, its because I'm a perfectionist and she's so special I need it to be well - perfect.

That's all for now,

Mike

Do Over

2004-09-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

You know what? Do Over. All the past fiction? Dead to me now. And it should be to you as well.
Stay tuned for new stories.

Mike

A prologue.

2004-09-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

Okay after taking in my audience's(?) opinion I have come to a decision on what I'm going to do with my blog. If it was completely up to you guys I would just talk about poop, but I don't think you guys would actually read it. So, I think I'm going to write fiction. I should do it to keep up my writing chops so, from now on I'm going to write veniettes about one all involving one character. Me. Since this format practically screams diary style, that's what it will be.

Of course this character will be based on me, but it will probably make decisions I would never do, get involved in things that haven't and won't happen to me, say things I don't believe in or agree with, and I'll change things about my life to fit the story. That's what's great about fiction.

So don't post, email, or call me and say "Mike, you cheated on your girl?" or " I never knew you were raised by a family of ostriches" or " You probably shouldn't have sex with a penguin." (wow I haven't even started and I already see a motif going) . It will all be fiction. As long as you know if ask me a question I will answer you in fiction, we'll be okay.

Lets see how this will work out.

I hope you enjoy.

Mike

thx 1138

2004-09-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

Well, Becky, here you go.

THX 1138 is George lucas (fresh off of film school) movie, which is a lengthing of a short student film of his. Its about dehumanization in the modern world (cheery huh?) . Robert Duvall plays the title character who I think (its been a couple years since I've seen it) gets wrongly accused of a crime and the faceless robot police hunts him down. From what I remember it feels long, (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) it's pretty quiet and the Sci-fi is pretty dated. Besides that I remember enjoying it, a definite better directing job than lets say, oh, (episode 1 and 2 combined) It probably stands up pretty well on the new dvd version. I saw bits of it yesturday, and it looks pretty well restored, which is amazing because I saw where they were storing the original print.

It's a WB movie and in the basement of the building (of which I'm in presently) they store all the original negatives of the movies. In my intial meeting to work here my friend showed me the print and it was sitting in a water damaged cardboard box on the floor in the back with "THX1138" sloppily written on it with a sharpie.

Anyway, it's worth a rent, if you like 70's sci-fi, its worth the buy.

Mike

An unwelcome reminder that we are living in a police state.

2004-09-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

As I was driving (around 80 mph) to pick up a friend from the airport. I was reviling in the fact that I was unaware of any speed traps in LA. In Maryland I new of all of them on the regularly traveled interstates, but on the 101 or 405, 10 , or 134 I am not aware of any. I came to the conclusion that the west coast is truly more relaxed than my eastern home. I turn off on the "la tijera" (don't ask me to pronounce that) I stop at a red light then make a right only to see a hiding cop car. "Huh? " I think to my self and make sure I'm driving the speed limit. The cop car then turns on their lights and pulls me over. "Shit! What the hell did I do?" I think. The nice lady cop tells me in her stern voice that there was no right on red at the specific light. And she is going to write a ticket for me. "how courteous of you. " I think. Sarcastically.

Then she asks me for the usual, and like usual (I don't get pulled over often but I have before if you were asking) I franticly sift through my glove compartment, full of shit I think I need but of course haven't needed since I put it in there in the first place, for my registration and proof of insurance. I come up with my registration but I can only find two older insurance cards, not my present one. The lady cop didn't feel satisfied with that and gave me a warning. Nice. I really needed that too. Because if it wasn't embarrassing enough not having it when asked, but since its a written warning. I have to appear in court to show one of the numerous copies of my insurance.

" Yes, Mr. Judge, I do have insurance. I'm a good lil' boy. Please, don't fine me for the price of bureaucracy that I don't not ask to be involved in. I'll promise to never do it again. Look at me, I dress up well, and wear glasses, I'm an upstanding member of society who doesn't occasionally participate in illegal drugs etc. "
He'll believe it. Right? please? Please?

P.S. Keep on commenting about my last blog. I only have two that isn't a good enough census. I have more readers than that? Right? Please? please?

How about some audience participation?

2004-09-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm curious on how to continue this blog, and I'm going to it leave to my readers (if I have any) . So please "comment" on what I should write about. Either one or a mixture of the following.

1. Celebrity sightings.
2. Poignant yet funny comments on everyday life how I see it.
3. Fiction.
4. Friends and family gossip.
5. Made up celebrity gossip.
6. Made up friends and family gossip.
7. Random lists that are intended to be funny, but most likely aren't.
8.poop.
9. Elaborate weavings of clues and hints that lead readers on a journey of joy and wonderment.
10. Intimate details of my sex life with my girlfriend, that will most likely embarrass the both of us, and send me to the "doghouse" or make me single.

You choose!

This is just an excerise to get the populous into the mode of voting for important things.

mike.

who wants a point?

2004-08-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

I don't.

I like random things occasionally, so I don't have to form complete thoughts, which come swith great difficulty at times. I'm a victim of the TMI world. So.

When was the last time you rolled around in the grass?

It's goat cheese day at the WB commisary.

I like how I feel hungery but I must wait because it's not lunch "time" yet. even though I can go get lunch whenever I want.

Have you ever thought about how to execute elaborate speaker set ups? I have.

Does it say something that I haven't done a self portrait since College?

Imagine how much time you've spent during your lifetime thinking about footwear... doesn't it seem too long?

When was the last time you were not doing something specific, or had to do something specific?

ummm, I'm running out of ideas.

I'm really sick of Paris hilton, who's with me?

Am I weird because I prefer doing/watching/listening to things that are good, instead of making fun of things that are bad?

I like blackened chicken.

Um,

a followup

2004-08-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

So even though I'm kinda kinda of talking about "the brown Bunny' but I'm going to since I posted something about it earlier. I saw it this weekend at the NuArt in Santa Monica. When I was buying the tickets there was a small piece paper up saying (no refunds given after the first 20 min.) I saw this as my warning, ( if I already didn't have enough of a warning) then I proceeded to sit through a very boring movie. I must hand it to the man, in scenes where things actually happened were entertaining and interesting. But there was several long winded shots of open road which bored me beyond belief. And then there was the cock scene. Okay. EVERYBODY, VINCENT GALLO HAS A LARGE COCK!, there you don't have to go to the movie, I've told you the entire meaning of the movie. Sure, the rest talks about his love/hate relationship with his gigantor member(ego), but do you really find that interesting? I didn't. My girlfriend defends the movie saying its good because we can have a lengthy discussion about it, but I can have a lengthy discussion about a movie about how great Hitler is, but that doesn't mean I find it entertaining or want to watch it, or suggest other people watch it.
SO I'm not allowing This prick anymore lip service, and be done with it. Don't go see the movie. (like you have the option, unless you are near one of the Whole 3 theaters it's playing in the world.).

A promise

2004-08-25T15:31:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was rewriting my awe-inspiring screenplay I had a thought of what my life would be like if I were insanely rich. Joel Silver, big time movie producer (the matrix trilogy among other things) has three home in LA. THREE IN LOS ANGELES. Now understandably he has made an assload of money in this industry and he should live comfortably, but gimme a break dude.

So I'm going to make me a promise and I'm posting it here.

I promise myself that when ( if) I become insanely rich I will not live a life of excess. Well sure, I'll indulge but not obscenely. I will remember my family, I will remember my friends, I will remember charity, and I will remember my roots. I will not shop regularly at dolce & gabanna. I will not buy a huge SUV with rotating rims. In fact I will not buy a lot of cars for no reason. I might buy a lot of drums, but they are not the same price as cars. I will not have excessive plastic surgery. I will not act like I'm better than my peers due to my insane richness. I will make my children have jobs at sixteen. I vow to make sure they do not become little rich brats who get whatever they want. I will treat everybody I come in contact with respect, (unless they are assholes) , no matter how much money they make. This I do decree.

(not a legal binding document). :o)

pondering

2004-08-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever pondered the abstract value of money these days? I work 40 hours for a piece of paper that says I have this number. then I put that piece of paper and put it in a slot at an atm and tell a computer that it says that I have the same number. So eventually somewhere in bank of america, a computer is told to add that number to my other number, and now I'm taht much "richer". But of course, most of that larger number will never be seen by me because I write small numbers on other peices of paper and send them out to "pay" for things I already have, so I can keep them or for even a more abstract thing called "insurance". Is there a person who inputs these numbers? can I become friends with them? whaat if a ipiss that person off and they decide to burn all my checks and delete the number. It seems this entire economy is based on something so abstract and fragile. It worries me deep inside.

the end of an era

2004-08-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

So this weekend Phish ahd their last concert, and I was not there. apparently they were weepy. you know what, I'm not weepy, I'm slightly sad, but I'm not weepy because thay have been stagnate for at least two years ( they ahven't been making good albums anyway) and I haven't seen them in concert since before their hiatus two years ago. So it was like they were in their prime. Um, I don't have the much to say. it sucks their gone. I'll probably put on billy breathes some time this week, have a glass of whiskey, a toke or two and long for the good ol' times.
More later, and hopefuly it will be amusing.